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| You can also read this in chronological order (the order in which I wrote it). Saturday, July 15, 2006 'In 1901 Rilke married Klara Westhoff, one of Auguste Rodin's pupils. They had a daughter, Ruth. She was born seven months after the marriage, which lasted only one year. However, legally they did not divorce. "It is a question in marriage," Rilke once stated, "to my feeling, not of creating a quick community of spirit by tearing down and destroying all boundaries, but rather a good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude, and shows him this confidence, the greatest in his powers to bestow. A togetherness between two people is an impossibility..." Rilke's affairs with women followed a certain pattern: after falling in love, he first wrote passionate letters but when he started to think that the counterpart had come too near to him, he withdrew from the relationship. "Never forget that solitude is my lot," Rilke once explained in a letter. "I implore those who love me to love my solitude."' -- from http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/rmrilke.htm or slightly different: "The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky." -- Translated from german by Stephen Mitchell i humorously suspect that one must be able to honor his own solititude before he can be entrusted to guard another's :) Sunday, April 9, 2006 The Rilke Spiral "Have patience toward all things unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms or like books written in a very foreign language. For now do not seek the answers which cannot be given to you, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you shall then gradually without noticing it, one far off day, live into the answer." Saturday, April 1, 2006 "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for." - Maureen Dowd Thursday, March 2, 2006 "Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you don't set any condition." - Artur Rubinstein Wednesday, February 15, 2006 "Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how... The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark." - Agnes De Mille Sunday, February 5, 2006 Just because you know why someone behaves in a way that hurts you doesn't mean they don't deserve your anger. The truth is that you don't deserve to turn that anger onto yourself. That anger serves the person who receives it to see you and themselves as real with thoughts and a tender heart not as an idea or object to serve their needs. Serve your anger to those who deserve it (and always in a way that best takes care of you). Saturday, January 28, 2006 "Truth without compassion is not the whole truth, and healing without a loving spirit is not true healing." - The Tao of Healing Sunday, January 15, 2006 "The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived, and dishonest -- but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic." - John F. Kennedy Tuesday, December 6, 2005 "I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine." - Fritz Perls Saturday, October 15, 2005 "Pain is such an important thing in life. I think that as an artist you have to experience suffering. It's not enough to have lived it once; you have to relive it. Darkness is not a pejorative thing." - Naomi Watts "There's a lot of skeletons in my closet, but I know what they're wearing. I'm not gonna act all ashamed of it" - on her early career. |
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Saturday, October 8, 2005 Nothing like ego to interrupt the flow of love. Nothing like the absence of compassion to ignite the flame of hatred. Nothing like your self-destruction to bleed in to another's space. Keep your hurt inside. Others have enough of their own. Enjoy the hell you live in Yanis (you have no face). I don't want any of it. Sunday, January 16, 2005 "There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931) Thursday, January 13, 2005 "Nothing would be done at all if a man waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault with it." - John Henry Newman (1801-1890) Wednesday, January 5, 2005 "The art of pleasing is the art of deceiving." - French Proverb and "My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating." - Ashleigh Brilliant Thursday, December 16, 2004 "It is better to deserve without receiving, than to receive without deserving." - Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899) Sunday, November 14, 2004 There really is no answer is there. No question either. Why are we here? We keep trying to stay alive. What for? Can no one answer that question? Is the only option to have fun while we're here? The mind itself can't answer it's own question. It knows there is no answer, but still can't stop asking. The Eternal Suffer. Friday, November 12, 2004 Did you know that during the Soviet times in Russian, there was no word for "self-reliance?" Says a lot about the Self in Russian culture. Wednesday, October 20, 2004 "life is ironic. and beautiful. and fucked up." - Nikki Americanos Wednesday, September 22, 2004 no, i don't think being in love means finding someone who can fill that space with something you don't have and i don't think it's admiring someone that has something you haven't found how to have in your own self i think being in love becomes an adult appreciation of difference and childish playfulness in the pleasures of togetherness Tuesday, September 7, 2004 "As the eye needs light to see, so the soul needs labor to comprehend." - Philo, "Sacrifices of Abel and Cain" |
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Friday, August 27, 2004 I just found this in a journal entry I wrote October 16, 1999. "TV gets me feeling often. It is ironic, I stepped away from it to learn more about real life, but I feel real emotions in fake life [TV]." I guess it is easier to feel when it isn't personal. Though, now, I seem to have crossed the boundary. It is now easier when it is personal. That's something for me to think about when I ask myself the question: why am I am actor? Thursday, August 12, 2004 "The deepest truth blooms only from the deepest love." - Heine, English Fragments, 1828 The only way I can interpret this quote right now is in regards to my own self. When I am utterly loving of myself (you know, not-judgemental, no critic involved), then I truly can uncover my deepest desires and hurts. Then I can begin to know who I am and from there what to do or not to do. Sunday, August 8, 2004 I'm sure it comes as no surprise. But, I'm not so satisified with the writing and participation I bring to this site. I put in on hold for a long time because I haven't had the priority to share here. I mean, when life is so busy in front of you, here, in the physical world, any time spent sitting at the computer in the virtual world is like, what a waste of time (generally of course). I used to use the computer as a way to veg, to check out, to run from my feelings which I could barely feel. But, I have gone through some sort of resurgence. An awakening, as the new agers may call it, of more of me to myself. I've since got a Mac, no brain-hurting eye-straining creative-squashing Windows PCs in my life. No more sitting at the computer to veg. It's used to communicate and create. Then life gets lived away from it. It's bright and early Sunday morning and I'm off to Santa Cruz to spend the day shooting a film. I'm one of the lead actors. That's a big part of where my energy and time has been going. You can check out more about that here. I am hoping do more with this space, now that I have one of those phones that takes pictures, and a desire again to share. But, I'm not making any such promises. That was't a promise. Just a public expression of desire. May your day be filled with just what it needs. Tuesday, July 27, 2004 "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." - African Proverb Monday, July 19, 2004 "The events of childhood do not pass but repeat themselves like seasons of the year." - Eleanor Farjeon Thursday, July 8, 2004 "The supreme insistence of the universe is that we enter the adventure of creating ourselves." - Brian Swimme, Physicist Wednesday, June 30, 2004 "The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection." - George Orwell Monday, June 14, 2004 "A man's worst enemies can't wish on him what he can think up himself." - Yiddish Proverb Friday, June 11, 2004 "Those who wish to sing always find a song." - Swedish Proverb Tuesday, June 8, 2004 I'm a masochist Not a pacifist Except after I've hurt myself Thank god for NIN. |
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004 "The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions." - Leonardo da Vinci Saturday, May 22, 2004 "There is no law of progress. Our future is in our own hands, to make or to mar. It will be an uphill fight to the end, and would we have it otherwise? Let no one suppose that evolution will ever exempt us from struggles. 'You forget,' said the Devil, with a chuckle, 'that I have been evolving too.'" - William Ralph Inge Thursday, May 20, 2004 "A hero is a man who is afraid to run away." - English Proverb Tuesday, March 2, 2004 "Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson Tuesday, February 17, 2004 "You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." - Jan Glidewell Changes are a coming. Wednesday, February 11, 2004 "Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thornbush has roses." - German Proverb "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright Thursday, February 5, 2004 "Half the work that is done in the world is to make things appear what they are not." - E. R. Beadle Friday, January 23, 2004 Sometimes my body feels like I'm in the midst of World War II and there are bombs exploding all around me. Any second a bomb will hit me. I'm frozen in fear. Then a glimpse of me remembers I'm in San Francisco in 2004. And I'm not my grandparents. "There are no shortcuts to any place worth going." - Beverly Sills Tuesday, January 20, 2004 "Luck never gives; it only lends." - Swedish Proverb Friday, January 16, 2004 "A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." - Chinese Proverb |
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Sunday, December 28, 2003 "If you can't make a mistake, you can't make anything." - Marva N. Collins Saturday, December 27, 2003 As Jason said it: "Those Latvians can drink." And Jason's right about those, because this one can't. Monday, December 22, 2003 Being human means feeling sad and happy, alone and in union, love and hate. But, I don't want all of them. When I learn to want and have them all, things will be easier, won't they? I know that's not true either. Love yourself. Tuesday, December 16, 2003 "Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly." - Langston Hughes Monday, December 15, 2003 "No fine work can be done without concentration and self-sacrifice and toil and doubt." - Max Beerbohm Friday, December 5, 2003 I'm an actor. I am tired. I will love myself so my audience can love me. I am more than worthy of everything great thing in this world. Wednesday, November 26, 2003 "To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice." - Confucius Tuesday, November 25, 2003 "Mama always told me not to look into the eye of the sun, but mama, that's where the fun is." - Manfred Mann in Blinded by the Light Friday, November 21, 2003 "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy Tuesday, November 18, 2003 Microscopic Truth and Honesty. I love it. I love it. I love it! "An adult is only one who has ceased to grow vertically and started to grow horizontally." - American Proverb Of course that's an American Proverb, what other country or culture has our obesity rates. |
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Monday, November 17, 2003 It's time to start buying tickets if you want to see this Jewish elf perform. Sunday, November 16, 2003 Sometimes when you go deeper you yearn for the days of shallowness. Did you know that adidas = all day i dream about sex? Wednesday, November 12, 2003 For whose who have musical interests, Berklee College of Music has released over 80 free lessons in various musicical topics ranginer from specific instruments to music production. Sunday, November 9, 2003 "Democracy, like love, can survive almost any attack - except negligence and indifference." Wednesday, October 29, 2003 "Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." - Walter Elliott Monday, October 27, 2003 It is hard balancing two careers and girlfriend and your health. Lots on my plate: rehearsals, auditions, film shoots, performances, a day job, being intimate and maintaining a semblance of a relaxed reality. It's hard to do while constantly making changes in my life. Tuesday, October 7, 2003 I live in a state where a bad republican actor with no political leadership experience was voted in as Governor. What happened to California? It's has become a microcosm of the entire U.S. Anyway, as always, living life focusing that which you have control over is the best path to happiness. Wednesday, October 1, 2003 We seem to lower to the occasion. Don't search for beauty. Search for truth. Beauty quickly follows. And it's not a lie. Thursday, September 25, 2003 "A mind too active is no mind at all." - Theodore Roethke Thursday, August 28, 2003 "Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho |
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Sunday, August 3, 2003 Working like mad these days. Going back to Texas on Wednesday to present our findings and conclusions. Acting and singing are still my pride and joy. Incorporating some training and pilates in to my life. Hoping to get trained to become a Grinberg practioner next year (over the next three years). Thinking in bullet points. Thursday, July 31, 2003 Me and fish always had a special understanding. Wednesday, July 2, 2003 Hmmmm.... Jersey. Monday, June 23, 2003 I don't know about you, but I'm addicted to Vitamin Water. Cranberry Juice and other jucies have become to sweet. Corn syrup is icky. So, water with mild flavoring seems to be the way to go. I recommend it. Monday, June 16, 2003 "Only love gives us the taste of eternity." - Jewish Proverb Thursday, May 29, 2003 I'm in Texas right now starting a new design strategy project for a big education company and I just need to express that I have never seen so many tall, overweight, unattractive, unfashionable and overwhelmed looking people (in public, not at the company). I guess I am very jaded in San Francisco. Monday, May 5, 2003 "Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time." - Hebrew Proverb Saturday, May 3, 2003 Tonight: Wowowowowow! Tuesday, April 29, 2003 "We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seeded refusal of that which others have made of us." - Jean-Paul Sartre Thursday, April 24, 2003 The story of my life is resisting my life. |
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Monday, April 21, 2003 I'm flying down to L.A. tomorrow for the day to shoot a commercial. Should be tons of fun and excitement. I'll be singing. :) "Anger as soon as fed is dead 'Tis starving makes it fat." - Emily Dickinson Friday, April 18, 2003 Woah, someone has to follow up on this one. I want to help search engines find some stuff I've been working on out there. First of all, someone in my singing class is starting to sell handwritten greeting cards. Plus, I just updated my dad's live band's web site with videos and pictures. My headshots have been working so well for me that I want send a shout out to my headshot photographer. Rick decided my headshot was worth sharing on his web site (click Men then the picture on the bottom row). Oh, and one more site I need to mention (a sexy, young vocalist named brooke lyn). That's it for now. Gotta go memorize some lines for the shoot tonight. Thursday, April 17, 2003 Matzah, avocado and lox is the way to go. Wednesday, April 9, 2003 "As he thinks in his heart, so he is." - Jewish Proverb Monday, April 7, 2003 "If there is no wind, row." - Latin Proverb Thursday, April 3, 2003 I'm getting rid of some my books. I have two paperback copies of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Anybody want one for free? :) Wednesday, April 2, 2003 "Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped." - African Proverb I just ran across this article discussing something I designed six years ago. I was 20 at the time and still in college. It is weird to read about myself in third person, especially six years after it happened. Wednesday, March 26, 2003 One of the girls in my acting class creates custom greeting cards and stationary. She wants to make this into her next career and I helped her scan in some of her cards yesterday. Take a look at A Spoonful of Poetry. Brooke passed this on to me last week: Funny interpretations of the new U.S. government emergency signs. Wednesday, March 19, 2003 "One rotten beam can make a whole house collapse." - Russian Proverb Interesting: Who Really Wins the Oscars. Monday, March 17, 2003 Bush, you have 48 hours to resign or your life will be threatened. This is the beauty that comes from war. |
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Tuesday, March 4, 2003 Please sign the emergency petition asking the U.N. security council not to allow war in Iraq. Monday, March 3, 2003 What a freaking weekend. I moved in on Saturday after hell packing the four days prior. I have a lot of stuff. Most of it is in boxes in my new apartment all around me right now. I'm using AOL 1025 hours free dialup to get online from a laptop. DSL won't come for another week, not that I have time to do anything on the computer until I unpack all these boxes. In the midst of all this I auditioned yesterday for 70+ bay area theater casting agents. Nothing quite like singing for your first time in front of an audience as an adult to casting agents. Actually, it was tons of fun and too bad it was all over in two minutes. My first adventure today was trying to find a spoon. I think I moved 8 boxes and opened six of them. They are labeled. Okay, better not use up my 1025 free hours by next week. Thursday, February 27, 2003 Packing is a bitch. Unpacking is more fun. I signed a lease on a new one bedroom apartment in San Francisco. I will be living one block from the USF gym, two blocks from Golden Gate Park (where I play volleyball and can run) and two blocks from Geary where there are plenty of Korean restaurants, supermarkets, Russian food stores and an express bus line going downtown to my acting and singing classes. Not only that but I got a great deal and it includes parking. I'm moving in tomorrow and Saturday. I have even more stuff now than before because I inherited stuff that Jason left. I will be selling a bunch of stuff once I move out. It will be nice to lighten the load (when you have little storage space it makes you question what you really need) and make some side cash for things to purchase that the apartment really needs. I'm excited to live alone. It's the definite next step. "Art is the illusion of spontaneity." - Japanese Proverb Wednesday, February 26, 2003 Laura shares this in her away message: Super Mack Daddy Mario (funny stuff and good music). The Bagel Dance for all the Jews out there. Wait for the music to load, it's funny. Has anyone ever tried using tea leaves to color and scent the water in their toilet? Friday, February 21, 2003 "Any fine morning, a power saw can fell a tree that took a thousand years to grow." - Edwin Teale Tuesday, February 18, 2003 I don't think wireless live power is possible (safely). But, apparently, charging mobile devices is (very cool, very convinient). Monday, February 17, 2003 Some away messages from my friends and family back east:
Friday, February 14, 2003 This came across my email (from Brooke Lyn) and I haven't been able to find a web page that contains this full version anywhere. This is sung to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it": If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.Ahhhh.... music. Wednesday, February 12, 2003 That fact that he didn't win his position as a leader of his people makes it even more bitter that he is making the world hate us. Leaders serve those that elect them, not themselves. God, if only Mrs. G. W. Bush gave better head. This culture rewards too many people that lead with their brain instead of their hearts. Tomorrow night the play I have been working on for the last month goes up. It's a one-act about three people that work in the Alice in Wonderland unit of Disneyland. It is called The Alice Unit. The play is part of the second annual Bay Area One Act festival. I am on stage wearing a white rabbit suit Thursday through Sunday (Feb. 13-16). You can buy tickets on ticketweb. It is a fun piece, as well as the other three one-acts that you will see in the show. If I make reservations for you, you get a discount! I forwarded an email to my law-school-graduate-political-science-major-friend Dave about the massive anti-war grassroots campaign that moveon.org is spearheading. His response: Actually, I hadn't seen that one. Kind of cool. I'm not really sure anything domestically will make a difference right now. The Bush Administration has yet to give any indication that its actions are meaningfully shaped by what the people think or want. The Bushies want this war with Iraq. They want it bad. They're making stupid logical connections like "Osama bin Laden thinks the US bombing a Muslim country is a bad thing and wants Muslims to resist. Therefore, there is clearly a link between Iraq and al Qaeda." And the American people are buying it. I'm not sure billboards and signs will help, but I hope they do.Rogue leaders... Tuesday, February 11, 2003 Compassion is more important than being right. Your mere existence is a tease. |
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Saturday, February 8, 2003 The sky has been incredibly clear over the Bay Area the last few nights. Driving by the ocean today on the way back from watching a classmate in a musical play, I could see so many stars. The perceived serenity up there was a beautiful contrast to the fear and ferocity in the hearts of so many on planet Earth. I can do anything. Friday, February 7, 2003 Today's links come from Jason and Perry:
Thursday, February 6, 2003 Watch what could happen if we go to war in Iraq. The ramifications are huge and all for some money, maybe. Tuesday, February 4, 2003 I don't drink carbonated beverages, but I feel so cool drinking coke out of a glass bottle. I've found that I can drink the coke that is bottled in Mexico (and is sold in the a bunch of Burrito joints in the Mission) because it is mildly carbonated has a high content of real sugar. Monday, February 3, 2003 An earthquake got me out of bed this morning. It didn't physically knock me out, but it was as though someone put a quarter in a slot next to my bed. Once I found out where it was, I found it strange that I felt, because I'm not that close to where the epicenter was. Okay, so there have been two more while I was sitting around writing this. It's been a very active morning and my instinct is that there will be one or two bigger ones, but that could just be the unknown fear cells in my body talking. Saturday, February 1, 2003 Spicy curry causes the most intense dreams. I was having a nightmare last night about Mel Gibson playing an insane character who thinks he is secret agent in the 1800's. He was being changed by the government. I was doing the things he does and he was trying to convince me that I was sane. Bad curry is bad. Questionable curry is bad. Don't eat it. Tuesday, January 28, 2003 You know you're making the right choices when your life brings you to new emotionally adventerous things everyday. "We use the Middle Ages as a time of horrors so as to convince ourselves, despite modern atrocities, that we live in a much better time." - Patricia Ingham, associate professor of English at Lehigh University Monday, January 27, 2003 "The impersonal hand of government [or media] can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor." - Hubert H. Humphrey Sunday, January 26, 2003 My tendency to give love in inappropriate places (or where it won't be returned) is pretty hard-wired. I mean, it is scarier to give love where you will receive it. I think my emotional association with love is overwhelming and I hate being overwhelmed. In a sense, that is how I learned to feel it in my early years. Time for another big change. Friday, January 24, 2003 This is intense. 12-month old babies learn emotional cues from television. Becareful what they watch... |
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Thursday, January 23, 2003 Oh God this is a hard one for me to learn: "Do not rejoice over what has not yet happened." - Egyptian Proverb Wednesday, January 22, 2003 Kirk Cameron all grown up. "He that lies on the floor doesn't fall down." - Norwegian Proverb Friday, January 17, 2003 I was browsing Fray tonight. I landed on the New Year resolution question. I decided to finally express in words what I've been mulling over the last month. No matter how much I try to force myself, ice cream doesn't taste good anymore. My tongue is becoming more and more anti-sugar. That's okay, because I think I've had 40 years worth already. Wednesday, January 15, 2003 Not only are the bagels not so good at Noah's, but the people that work there can't follow directions either. Prevent this, hire interaction designers. What happens when everyone's cell phone has a camera in it? Now everyone can gather evidence of wronged behavior and privacy becomes a bigger issue. Cellphones are now banned in the locker room of a fitness center in Hong Kong. Monday, January 13, 2003 I sent 3,622 messages in 2002. That averages almost 10 a day. Hmmm. Saturday, January 11, 2003 Marines and various special forces are being shipped out. Some are going to Iraq. Now some are staying in Asia to be near North Korea. Apparently, we'll be fighting two (if not more) countries simultaneously. I have some friends that have contacts in these various groups. The sad news is that those young, dedicated and loyal humans serving us in these wars don't believe in them. They see it for what it is. You know what happens when soldiers fight without believing? There are more casualties on the side that doesn't believe. War and death are horrible on a large or small scale. War fought with principles behind them is sometimes necessary, but greed isn't a principle. I know we are just starting the third year of this decade, but I would like to give it a name. We are in the Decade of Carnage. Friday, January 10, 2003 Now that's a couple with balls: Luggage bomb hoax lands couple in jail. Thursday, January 9, 2003 Courtesy of Jason: Blogs and camera phones. I say duh! Pictures emailed to friends or your own web site are the killer phone app for 2003. This is insane. I no longer have any cravings for ice cream. It just sits there in my freezer growing little ice jaggies. How far I've come from my ice cream as oxygen years. Time to you have your entire music collection available anywhere in your house with no lose of sound quality: SLIMP3. The only problem is you need to run an ethernet wire to the remote location. The next version of the product should just run it over the electrical lines. You can probably use it with products like Neverwire 14 or Homeplug Powerline, but they are not cheap options. You could always do wireless: Linksys Ethernet to Wireless Bridge This is the feature that will hook me: Can I use the SLIMP3 as an alarm clock?I was going to buy a new alarm clock that allowed me to wake up to something more pleasant, but this will work even better. Last night I truly found something that is easier done than said. "The beginning of sin is sweet; its end is bitter." - Japanese Proverb Tuesday, January 7, 2003 Top 10 taboo topics for first dates. A few months ago I was on a first date during which this older woman covered three of the taboo topics during our first two hours together. Let's just say while sitting near the fireplace in the french restaurant I did not need to hear about her irregular pap smear. There is a smoked salmon shortage in the Bay Area and it's seriously affecting my ability to be happy in the morning. Did you know that farmed salmon have lower Omega-3 acids than free roaming salmon? That's what ecologist, designer, musician, mac(intosh) daddy Chadster says. I suspect they also taste better. For free roaming good tasting salmon, Nikki recommends sockeye. Monday, January 6, 2003 "After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box." - Italian Proverb |
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Saturday, January 4, 2003 San Francisco is the 3rd fittest city in the country. Thursday, January 2, 2003 You can't compare our love to a lollipop. Imagine your best friend coming to you with that deep look of need in their eyes. You sit, you focus, you give with your heart and entire self and listen and engage like there is no tomorrow. You were there. He needed and you gave. He is better for it. How about treating your body (or entire self) with that much time, respect, and love when it calls out to you? Wednesday, January 1, 2003 Cam read and linked to an article with a very inticing title (for me at least): What Should I Do with My Life? It is a wonderful article. Apparently, Po Bronson who has written a slew of great books has been interviewing "successful" folks for the last two years and cultivating what works. His latest book debunks many popular myths of what to do with lives and how we define success. He goes into it in the article which I would recommend taking the time to read. Bonus for me was the last few paragraphs where he has interviewed the person (a complete suprise to me) I have been seeing for bodywork for the last two years. Her passion for her work comes through and gives me life. I'm ecstatic to see her discovered. I just saw Zoolander. My first movie of 2003. May it serve as a wonderful example of how to live this year. Monday, December 30, 2002 I like open spaces. I like being alone only when I have places to go. I like to sing streams of conciousness to the tune of Johnny Comes Marching Home. Charlie and Julia went to Europe for a month. Their absence has made the apartment a quiet place. I've also given them notice that I'm moving out March 1. Time for eboy to become cityboy. Tuesday, December 24, 2002 A must must must read: Coffee, Tea, or Should We Feel Your Pregnant Wife’s Breasts Before Throwing You in a Cell at the Airport and Then Lying About Why We Put You There? Our freedom is already gone. The terrorists are winning. Sunday, December 22, 2002 Why is everyone running around saying we're not at war yet when we're already at war and have been for a while? What a selfish governement we have. Friday, December 20, 2002 "Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours." - Frank Moore Colby I figured it out tonight while talking to a close friend. These days I want to share more with less people. Wednesday, December 18, 2002 In other news: Elan apartment hunting in Noe Valley, Pepsi dumbs Britney, Elan's classes and performances are over til 2003, Richard Gere opens an AIDS care home in India, Elan lacks enough sleep, Burger King employee assaulted with milkshake, Elan deems everything newsworthy. I got called hippie last night. That was my first. Wednesday, December 11, 2002 My hair is longer than I usually let it be. It'll be cut on Friday, but for now, I'm actually enjoying running my hands through it. Saturday, December 7, 2002 An adorable computer case created from legos covered in little lego people. |
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Thursday, December 5, 2002 Mom gave me some clementines to eat. I'll go have one now. Life is quite busy now. Nikki and I are working on a project for Proficient Networks. I have an improv show coming up a week from Monday. You are all invited. I've been busy with improv class and rehearsals. By rehearsing, I mean we are practicing improvising together and playing improv games. Nothing you will see performed has ever been performed before. I'm TAing another Improv class and I've just started taking singing lessons. On top of that I'm having fun with new friends in my life. Then there are holiday parties. Of course, sleep is my favorite activity. Busy, blah, blah, blah. The point is, I'm doing what I like, I'm confident about my choices, I trust my actions and I'm having fun. What the hell else do you want in life? Tuesday, December 3, 2002 I'm back home in California. Wow. I missed it. Saturday, November 30, 2002 Yodels aren't sold in California. I want things I can't have. I was in a Krause's market tonight and saw some on the shelf. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I just discovered Hometown Treats. You can order food from all the major regions of the U.S. I can order Yodels online. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I also just found the yankee blogger. It's written by a former New Yorker who moved to California for 11 years and just moved back to Jersey. We agree on a lot. His list of reasons to be thankful for Jersey is pretty dead-on. I could always move back to Jersey. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Friday, November 29, 2002 You will be objectified and have my utmost respect. You will be abused and loved unconditionally. You will be my mediocrity and extremes. You will be my hate and my love. Come. Wednesday, November 27, 2002 Currently spinning: Na Na Na Na Re by Daler Mehndi. Go download your favorite Bhangra today. So, who knows something about dream interpretation or how to learn about it? I'm at the point where I am seem to be regularly remembering what they are now. I feel like there are consistent themes and I don't seem to be getting the message. Any pointers? Please email. Hmmm.... maybe the quote that just came across email means something: "A clear conscience sleeps during thunder." - Jamaican Proverb Sunday, November 24, 2002 Fresh bagels are just so damn good. My mom mails me Fair Lawn bagels to California. I freeze them right away and toast them before eating. Those frozen bagels are better than any fresh ones I can find in the Bay area. But, in the end, nothing beats fresh bagels. I flew in on the red-eye today and we picked up bagels at 7AM in Fair Lawn and they were just da bomb. I'm in Jersey for a week. Monday, November 18, 2002 I'd love to see ketchup or salt advertised in the U.S. like soy sauce is in Asia: SoySauceMan (aka Kikkoman)! We are now one BIG step closer to a useful and efficient digital organizer thanks to FranklinCovey. "Craftiness must have clothes, but truth loves to go naked." - English Proverb Saturday, November 16, 2002 Chad is right. Kim has written a good article on Persona creation. As I know it, this is the first time some of this information has been shared in public written form. Friday, November 15, 2002 ![]() I am incredibly inspired by Alanis. The world needs to see more of her. That includes me. Hey designer boys... Cooper has launched a new web site. They even put up a case study of a project I worked on. When did rap start being called hip-hop? Why does Celine Dion make herself look like she's 45 when she's in her early 30's? Wednesday, November 13, 2002 It sucks trying to feel an emotion that you really want to, but because of your body's habits of not letting you feel it, you can't. It also stinks sending a strong emotion to somebody and not getting it in return. But, that's 1st grade in emotional school. Unfortunately, being animals we're always in 1st grade. |
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Tuesday, November 12, 2002 Dave found a great article: Bush Seeks U.N. Support for 'U.S. Does Whatever It Wants' Plan, Feeling alone is the theme these days. I think I finally understand why people have pets. "The art of pleasing is the art of deceiving." - French Proverb There is the French for you. I was at the Rangers game tonight. I went with a stranger who responded to my ad on Craigslist. I think she enjoyed it even more than I did. We sat in the second row behind the Sharks' bench. We could count the hairs (or lack there of) on the coach's head. The Rangers kicked butt. That was the closest I've ever been to the action. The sound of checks and the puck hitting the boards by us was thrilling. I don't think I could see a game again without seats like that. Monday, November 11, 2002 Is there not a strangeness to this one: "In bad things be slow; in good things be quick." - Afghan Proverb Friday, November 8, 2002 Okay peeps, you have two and a half days to see my minor role in a very funny Moliere production. Tonight at 8pm, Saturday at 8pm and Sunday at 2pm. Details are about halfway down the page on Foothill's home page (look for Moliere! Moliere!). Wednesday, November 6, 2002 I like to give. I have no doubt that the appearance of Charlton Heston Presents the Bible infomercials is a direct response to the PR nightmare his existence in Bowling for Columbine presents. After all, Heston recorded it almost 10 years ago. See the movie, will ya? I'm sorry, but this is incredible funny. The first one you watch is funnier than the rest, but they all have their moments. Thank you Janna for pointing them out. I saw Bowling for Columbine. It should be required viewing for anybody breathing in this country. It will undoubtedly piss of a lot of people, but those people need to look at their anger as a sign of reflection. Of course they won't, but meanwhile we can laugh at them. We also need to take a hard look inside to see how we contribute to the whole fear/consumption factor. I'm on a total high because I helped teach an Improv class tonight. It was the second time I taught and I was much more relaxed tonight. I think that because I was relaxed it turned out to be a much better experience. I think the student learned tons and I learned tons teaching. In fact, I think expressing what I had in my head helped me solidify it for myself and I know when I need to show it in a scene I'll be more confident doing it. I got tons to learn, but it's nice to feel that I've learned enough of something to help others find a way to enjoy it. Does anybody know why older people walk with a cane? Is it because there they have a bad leg and they need a mini-crutch or is it because they are a look stool and the third leg provides more stability? I need to know so I can improvise correctly. :) Monday, November 4, 2002 I'm still looking for someone to accompany me to the Rangers vs. San Jose Sharks game next Monday (Nov. 11). I have tickets for the 4th row behind the Sharks bench (for two of three periods). They aren't cheap, but they are hard to get. Let me know if you may be interested or know someone who is... "An age is called Dark, not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it." - James A. Michener Saturday, November 2, 2002 Airline water ain't safe. Friday, November 1, 2002 Christina pointed out Courture (fashion with women's body parts sketched on the outside of the clothing). I find it incredible ugly. Anyone's imagination is better than reality in such regards. ELAN: the magazine for successful women. "A little help is better than a lot of pity." - Celtic Proverb Thursday, October 31, 2002 Canceling "girls club" isn't a bonus for the acting business in SF. Wednesday, October 30, 2002 Danielle sent this over. It's a great game to learn: get it in the condom. Monday, October 28, 2002 "A man cannot sleep in his cradle: whatever is useful must in the nature of life become useless." - Walter Lippmann |
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Sunday, October 27, 2002 The shoot was the da bomb today. The director and DP (director of photography) were really professional. They took really good care of us. Plus, I'm glad I liked the leading lady. It was important considering how intimate the scene was. Post-production should take until January. Then I came home to news that someone liked something I wrote enough to make it part of their AIM profile. Good morning! These film people really like to get up early. We have our shoot today at the beach. This is a first for me. We'll see how it goes. Only one nick shaving today. So, I may actually look 18. Thursday, October 24, 2002 Ever have the urge to run around and say I love you to somebody and it really didn't matter to whom? Tuesday, October 22, 2002 Cam pointed to this primer for visiting New York. It's dead on. Since I don't have the time to write a long explanation, I'll just blurt it out. I'm really busy this week because I'm in tech week for a Moliere play. I have a very very small part. The play opens Friday. More on that later (maybe). Plus, I just got cast as a lead (playing a 18-year old Jewish boy experiencing youthful love) in a Independent Film workshop/trailer. Someone has a full-length feature film they want to make and they need more money, so they are paying two of us (this other adorable girl and me) to do an all day shoot at the beach on Sunday. We also have two rehearsals this week. I think that will be my first official paycheck for acting. No, wait, I just remembered I got $20 a show for an off-off-broadway musical I did as a 12-year old. Anyway, life is fun and I'm meeting tons of new cool people. Back to living... Jason, Ryan's subtle advice is good for anybody, not just world travelers. Monday, October 21, 2002 Green onions are my new best friend thanks to my favorite Greek, Nikki. Something I read on a plane recently: Psychologist Sidney Jourard monitored casual touch among couples in cafes throughout the world and found that U.S. couples scored among the lowest, touching only twice per hour, while Puerto Rican couples touched 180 times. French parents and children touch one another three times more frequently than their American counterparts, which could have important societal consequences.Just touch 'em. I have an extra ticket to a New York Rangers vs. San Jose Sharks game. I think it's the fourth row. Who wants to go with me? I need protection because I'll be wearing my Rangers jersey. The ticket isn't cheap, but the company is. :) Sunday, October 20, 2002 Baseball has an all California final this year. It is clearly Northern California vs. Southern California. If it was New York vs. New Jersey there would be all sorts of trash talking about the other team. But, San Franciscan's are so self-restrained. Friday, October 18, 2002 I feel for Winona. Someone really has it in for her and she so doesn't deserve it. Thursday, October 17, 2002 John Perry Barlow always hits things on the nose. The whole anti-bombing Iraq issue is a wonderful example of all-talk and not a lot of action. I've been dancing at the nightclubs in Kuta, Bali. There goes tourism for that town. I definitely don't trust their ability to keep it secure. Evening at the Improv: a Time Magazine article on how sitcoms are using Improv to entertain their audiences and keep the actors' energy up on the set. Wednesday, October 16, 2002 I'm on a kick to unsubscribe from every mailing list that fills up my Inbox and every time I get a message (SPAM) that I don't want I create a rule so it automatically gets deleted next time. We'll see if any of this works so I can actually see personal messages that need responses. Friday, October 11, 2002 Some part of me feels bad for leaving up such a message of sadness with no other comments for so long, but part of me is like, if I feel sad, then why rush to cover up, right? Anyway, I haven't been sad the last four days, just away in Las Vegas. More on that later, but first I wanted to share that I came home to a power surge in the house and a fried power supply and motherboard in my computer. This makes me without computer and email for a while. I'm not sure how long, but this means I can't work as well as catch up or communicate. Plus my cell phone is on it's way out. I'm at the place that I bought my computer from hoping to get it fixed cheaply. Monday, October 7, 2002 Depeche Mode lyrics that hit me deep tonight: I'll be fineThis song used to be bring up someone else in my mind. I like being sad. It is comfortable and familiar. Something about it is close to home. So I like sitting with it. Even talking about it, sharing it, trying to understand it and using it. It's a peaceful feeling, too. Sometimes I still don't let myself feel it, but I am now and it is what it is. "Enjoy yourself; it's later than you think." - Chinese Proverb |
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Sunday, October 6, 2002 Sometimes just honesty and stepping through the fear of saying something personal is more than enough to make a wonderful evening. Other times, just two right people coming together makes whole night perfect. It's an illusion that isn't in our control. All we can do is feel along with the ride. The present moment is best when you're not laying old expectations on it. Shutting off this habit can can sometimes be achieved by not sleeping enough. Even the students at my alma mater's school paper are smart enough to spread one of Reuter's articles about a second Persian Gulf war hurting the economy. Saturday, October 5, 2002 My friend Lucero (who I met earlier this year in a Physical Acting class) just moved back to Mexico to be a clown. She works with kids in hospitals like Patch Adams. I'm planning on going to Mexico with some other San Francisco clowns in January and touring around Mexico City putting on shows. What exactly happens when a fish drowns? Wednesday, October 2, 2002 Cam points to this today: Masturbate for Peace. Tuesday, October 1, 2002 How long has Arafat been lying? Why doesn't W. Bush go kill him? Oh yeah, Arafat hasn't tried to kill W. Bush's father. Wait, wasn't W. Bush's father trying to kill Saddam? Why are we allowing the President of our country run around like a vengeful teenager in pursuit of a personal vendetta that's clearly in line with the policy his Texan oil boys want? Why is he allowed to undue years of good foreign relations with selfish action? Why am I wasting my emotional energy on him? For those in the Bay Area, you must go see Dreams of the Salthorse. It isn't light entertainment. It is the best live acting I have ever seen. There is a fun article in the New Yorker on the theory of what it means to be busy. It's not online, but in the September 30, 2002 issue. The author spends a lot of time talking about his three-year old daughter and her imaginary friend, Charlie Ravioli. The main issue with Charlie, is that he is always too busy to spend any time with the author's daugther. In fact, she's always calling him on her toy cell phone and leaving him messages. Sometimes she runs into him on the street and they do lunch, but usually she's complaining about how he is too busy to spend any time with her. It gets worse, later she starts talking to Laurie about Charlie. Later the author realizes, Laurie, is the imaginary assistant to Charlie, and she is now taking messages for Charlie and telling her Charlie is in a meeting or too busy to play. The author's sister is a child psychologist in California. She recommends the author's family move out of Manhattan. (In fact, it looks like Peter just read the same article.) Google has a new news service. I doubt an automated method will be better than one involving many experience humans. But, I know their service will provide a more balanced and wordly view on news than typical U.S. news services. I don't know where I picked up the phrase "I miss your ass." I only say that to men, of course. There is something primal about adding the word ass that makes it okay to express the missing emotion to male. At the same time, there is something about adding "ass" that makes expressing that very not okay to a male. I wonder if Jason is aware that he's already starting to write like a foreigner. He used the word "que" instead of "line." I wonder if he knows he spelled it wrong. (elan's note: damn, he just fixed it.) Thursday, September 26, 2002 I had film and theater auditions today. I had to dust off those monologues from this summer. The stage audition was for two Moliere plays. They kept some of us of two and half hours. I'm tired. I think I cold-read for every male part. I'll know if I got the role on Saturday night. Tomorrow I am waking up before 6 to do some unpaid extra work for a film. I'll be jogging the same 30 ft over and over under the Golden Gate Bridge tomorrow morning. Plus, I'm reading the screenplay to Swingers for Film Acting class. All this makes me feel like I live in L.A. and am a struggling actor or something. Project a keyboard on a flat surface and type away (via Jesse). So, the technology is possible. This is great. Like all new virtual technologies, the first thing to do is fully replicate a physical device. Once they've mastered how to project a keyboard, they'll finally think to create other interfaces. How about modifications or additions to the keyboard depending on what software you use. I could see the same device projecting sliders and dials for use with a music application. Projecting a toolbar or any interace and making an interaction similar to a touch-sensitive screen (but with larger targets for your fingers than are possible with a PDA). Lots of possibilities... Tuesday, September 24, 2002 I found a little piece of paper that has a smiley face on it. It says underneath "You're fun & I love you Elan." Fearful that you may be reading this, I admit that I don't remember who the paper is from. It was given to me in the last three weeks. That said, I find it interesting trying to remember. But, what's even more revealing to me is who I hope it's from. Monday, September 23, 2002 People are people no matter the package. Friday, September 20, 2002 The 'rents have been dropped of at the airport. My freezer and fridge is full. No hinges squeak in this house. We have a working dryer and dish washer. The doorbell now rings. This is what my parent's do on their vacation. I'm cross country so they can't help me with life on a daily basis, so that pack it all into the week they had here. The spa in Napa was a nice break in the middle. My mom taught to make two more of my favorite dishes and I played the longest card game ever with my dad. After I dropped them off I felt the need to buy lotto tickets. So I did. Monday, September 16, 2002 Nelson Mandela has some harsh, but what I believe to be accurate words about how the United States is portrayed in the world (via Brad). I don't enjoy living in a country where the leader constantly chooses the path opposite of what I would choose. You know fasting is getting to you when the paper pages of your prayer book smell edible. Saturday, September 14, 2002 There are not enough hours to express the things I feel. I really really really miss Jason. He is already having a wonderful time on his journey to school and I know it's going to get even more interesting. Besides, he's a great writer, knows what he's feeling and isn't afraid to share his most human moments. Perhaps that is why I really enjoyed his company. The parents are here. I'm on the couch. First Film Acting class tomorrow. I can't wait to see Tad. Life will be an adventure while they're here for a week, especially with Yom Kippur and the trip to Napa. |
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Thursday, September 12, 2002 Sometimes I do learn:
Freedom comes freeing your emotions. Let them out of your intellectual jail cell. Wednesday, September 11, 2002 Someone isn't falling asleep easily. Tuesday, September 10, 2002 What's the point of going to the dentist if it hurts more after the visit? Monday, September 9, 2002 I changed the image at the bottom of this page to a picture of people I really miss. One of the reasons I love Improv is because it is practice for real life. You get to be in abnormal situations as different characters with different dispositions. You play and explore another part of yourself in another world. Then in your life when the opportunity presents itself to approach life with a different disposition you do it. At least, that's the theory. But I can't seem to do it in moments when I need it most--the ones where I am most me. But, then maybe those are the moments right as they are. These days I just don't know anymore. My new car has a repeat function for CD songs (not just entire CDs, like the old car). This is a double-edged sword. Tonight it was what I wanted, but not necessarily what I needed. I played (and sang along with) Aimee Mann's One on repeat all the way home after a great dinner and a beautiful time on the beach watching the moon shine on a beautiful face. Though, we were sure the moon was setting (I didn't know that was possible). Sometimes I just need to accept who I am. I don't know why I let my head get in the way of my entire self. I want to play. I like to play. Playful is what I am as deep as can be. Sunday, September 8, 2002 New condom wrapper invented in Africa to speed application to increase use and prevent spread of disease. It's not just the U.S. Weather across the world isn't behaving as it has been for recorded time (via brig). Thank you short-term thinkers. Saturday, September 7, 2002 I'm not sure if this Harry Potter vibrating toy is for adults or kids. Damn! Girl. The Thomas Crown Affair. I found an explanation of how to create your own car tape audio adapter and what makes it work (magnetic fields). This thing is cool: Digisette. It is an MP3 player in the shape of tape cassette. You can use with headphones and walk around with it, as well as pop it into a car or any tape deck and listen to the music on it. Clever. Friday, September 6, 2002 Someone wants to name their kid Osama bin laden. Thursday, September 5, 2002 There *are* some unhappy people in San Francisco. I was dropping Nikki off at the post office a few minutes ago and I stopped at the bus stop to do it. I was leaving and the bus drove up. This forced the bus to stay on the street and hold up traffic. The bus moved and I got in the lane behind it. Then it moved over again to the right lane. I was speeding up as was the car in front of me at the green light and all of a sudden the driver in the car in front of me slams on his breaks right at the intersection. I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting him. I, of course, was like "stupid ass driver, the light is green" in my head. Now I realize he did it on purpose because he wanted me to hit his old red car. How do I know? Well, at the next light, which was red, he got out of his car, turned around and yelled at me "Next time you stop at a bus stop I'll kick your ass, you and your fucking Lexus!" Then he got in his car and I just gave him my passive aggressive tilted head focused "you need to breathe" look. He then put the car in reverse and drove backwards slowly into me. I wasn't too worried because I had my 3M Clearguard bumper covers. :) Then he quickly turned right on red and sped off. Your life's experience truly is a function of your attitude. I had an Improv class for three hours tonight. The first half I was really focused on doing well, learning, coming up with something clever and being entertaining. It sucked. I didn't enjoy it and accomplished little of what I wanted. I ate a few cream puffs that a classmate brought during break and suddenly I just wanted to have fun (like girls). That made all the difference and I was able to accomplish everything I didn't try to. Just have fun, man. The best of yourself will come out. Tech Circus is place I need to send both my resumes (Design and Performance) to get the job. Wednesday, September 4, 2002 Thanks to today's WSJ I came across two sites that allow you to order Japanese gadgets directly from Japan (with English translation and modifications) before they come out in the U.S. if they ever do. Check out Dynamism and Japan-Direct.com. I'm hanging out in the Apple lobby and everybody is walking by with a smile on their face. Tuesday, September 3, 2002 I'm home and exhausted. |
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Monday, September 2, 2002 Being in the moment and having fun in it really is the best thing in the world. Being lost in learning, sharing or play with wonderful human beings is wonderful and that's what my last few days have been. Happy Labor Day! May your celebration of not working give you insight into the true beauty of living. Friday, August 30, 2002 I've been waiting for it for about three weeks. I got my headshots taken today. I'm still wearing a little bit of touch up makeup. I can't wait to see how they come out; it should take about seven days for the contact sheets. I highly recommend the photographer. I don't need to see the prints to be sure. Now I'm off to Napa for Labor Day weekend. I'm meeting a group of 25 volleyball players that I play with on and off in Golden Gate Park. I look forward to the change of scenery and relaxing at the spa in St. Helena. Thursday, August 29, 2002 Does everybody run around believing they give more than they receive? After dinner at Strait's Cafe for our last night out before Jason heads east to Edinburgh I convinced him to watch Blue Crush with me. The movie was all bikini's, moving water and insight into the life of a hotel maid. The sexy side of it all wasn't really spelled out in the movie until the very last frame before credits. They put up a magazine cover that with the headline: "Girls Lay Pipe." Monday, August 26, 2002 Your dreams are more intense when you live your life fully in the moment with a constant flow of emotions. "If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm." - Yiddish Proverb (those clever Yids, I tell ya.) Sunday, August 25, 2002 Being famous in a potentially negative is quite the hassle. Friday, August 23, 2002 I'm sorry, these banner ads are hilarious. My cheek, half my tongue and part of my lower lip is numb. Dentists do that to you when they drill holes just to fill them up. I hope I will be back to normal before Shabbat dinner starts at the Rabbi's house tonight. The Rabbi that lent me a hat and siddur for the school play asked me to come by in return. Then like the good Jewish boy I am, I'm headed to the Russian Lounge with some nice strangers I met on Craigslist. The rest of the weekend will be filled with Improv! I promised myself on Monday I'll decide what my next vehicle will be. Either the IS 300 or the RX 300. They are two completely different cars and I have to decide what my next few years are about: fun, alphamale, and paying less or comfort, quiet, unrestrained driving and paying more. It's not exactly the lesser of two evils. Opinions are welcome. Either way I win out. Note, the last three years have been about the latter. Thursday, August 22, 2002 I made pudding. Tuesday, August 20, 2002 Some good Improv advice from Julie's improv teacher: " "Improv is like Buddhism anyway. My Improv teacher suggested I work on being present in the moment. Concentrate on receiving offers instead of advancing the narrative." Monday, August 19, 2002 That's right ladies. Have two beers then come on over. Well, maybe to be safe, you should come over then have two beers. Thursday, August 15, 2002 Go Maggie! Way to set the confused 20 (and 30) somethings straight. I wish more women read your columns. |
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Tuesday, August 13, 2002 Lawrence Lessig is the man. One of his final keynotes has been passed around the Internet like mad. He is taking a year off from speaking to focus on the Eldred v. Ashcroft case. His words combined with a simple Flash presentation explains the history of copyright and how our freedom has slowly been taken away over the last hundred years. I recommend it for those who want to understand exactly what we are losing and why. View the presentation! The men's bathroom at the Bayfront Theater in Fort Mason lost two urinals. There is a big space between the two left. Now we can't play Choose the Right Urinal (tm) during intermissions. Friday, August 9, 2002 Everyday there is a fork in our minds where we can choose to have a real relationship with someone or an imaginary one in our heads. Choose well and becareful trying to merge the two. Thursday, August 8, 2002 "If there is bitterness in the heart, sugar in the mouth won't make life sweeter." - Yiddish Proverb Monday, August 5, 2002 I get a good feeling when I search for Jewish singles that live near me on JDate and I get so many results that I can just keep hitting next. But, when I go to the victim's of terrorism in Israel page, that same freedom to keep hitting next creates a completely different sensation in my stomach. Sunday, August 4, 2002 Dave was kind enough to bring roses for me after our open class (showing the scenes we've been working on). I went on my first audition for a play today. I think I'll take what I can get for the near future just to fill up my resume. Probably the next move is to get professional headshots and take some film acting classes. The upcoming week is the last week of the program and just the mention of it makes me very sad. I'm going to miss the regiment, all the friends I made and the giving teachers. Life will be different after school. Different than it's ever been for me. I can feel it in my body. Saturday, August 3, 2002 Royksopp created a very information dense music video. One that you can watch over and over and over again and still see something new. Definitely a song created for a video as opposed to vice versa. Thursday, August 1, 2002 I'm tired. Tomorrow is the show. I just submitted the bio and headshot for Christina's book. I think that means the technical editing is done. Dave Grossman is visiting. He says, "Hi Megan." Wednesday, July 31, 2002 I own jewsinthehouse.com. It expires on Friday and I can't think of a good use for it. If you can think of one let me know and maybe I'll keep it, or just transfer it to you. Tuesday, July 30, 2002 One of my acting teachers made an interesting point that I don't think most people are aware of. If you see a friend or someone in a play, and you really love or hate something they did, you may have the urge to tell them. It's okay to tell, but do be general in your comments. You may want to say something specific, like, "I loved the way you screamed with anger after she told you that she cheated." It's best you don't do that because just know that every time that actor does it after that, they'll be thinking about what you said and wanting to deliver it exactly the same, which will make it fall flat. If you have feedback like that, save it until after the run. Your mileage may vary because different people will do different things, but you don't know the intricacies of the actor's thoughts so tread lightly. I'm sick again. This weakness in my body is getting annoying, but I know I'll be able to recover after school is over. It would be nice to figure out how to be healthy when I don't have a completely open schedule. Monday, July 29, 2002 "Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare." - Japanese Proverb |
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Sunday, July 28, 2002 Eventually we reach a point where we really know who we are, what we are, and what we want. Even what we need to get to where we want to go. Then the final stumbling block is rising to the responsibility challenge of living life that way. You know, getting up everyday and living with freedom and moment-to-moment conscious choices rather than propogating your patterns. I'm standing up. Check out the impressive concept car focused on safety by Volvo. It shows that the driving experience can definitely be improved. Ben Brown's mockery of the Apple switch campaign. Uh huh. I spent the whole day cooking and eating with Julia (my roommate's gal). We made chicken soup, veggie yellow curry, brownies and eclairs. I made eclairs. How cool is that. The best was eating the brownie with the eclair pastry filling on top. That chicken soup better heal my ass. I'm tired of sucking on Luden's Great Tasting Wild Cherry Throat Drops. Actually, there like candy, so it's not so bad. They don't last any way; I having a biting problem. I really do. Some of you know firsthand. Friday, July 26, 2002 Those who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced. Sounds strange, but under further scrutiny, it's not. Tuesday, July 23, 2002 Now I don't suspect I'll move in a month. There are too many uncertainties in my life right now and adding more isn't necessary. I have no clue what will be after graduation in two weeks, but I'm working hard to feel grounded in the moment. Sleep is my friend. My current sinus infenction isn't. Though, my knee and neck seem fine. Hey, look at that, there is only one letter different in the names of those body parts. One of the roles I'm playing for our final play is an Orthodox Rabbi from Eastern Europe. I get to work on a Yiddish accent, which rocks. Time to visit my friend. Sunday, July 21, 2002 The best acting is an unfiltered, unrestricted, honest flow of emotional expressions. You can go to acting school forever, and the essence of all the teachings is learn to make the most use of yourself (with the least effort). The stage is a great way for me to use someone else's words to express my unfettered emotions. This is a grand first step to expressing my unfettered emotions with my own words off stage. Saturday, July 20, 2002 Fur on Film (thanks Brad) is the place for seeing hairy men. Unfortunately, the site is missing a rating system for hair density. I hope to one day be on the site, but not because I am going to star in a porn. I haven't been able to find anyone that has the same density and chest/stomach hair lines. I am a Hairanomoly. Currently on MP3 repeat: Rasputin (Nightflight to Venus) by Boney M. Some of my male friends are quite the studmuffins. Making the right choices that bring two people closer together is rewarding spontaneous art. Then sharing details with a fellow artist who can appreciate the art as well as the technique is an act of further art creation. Thursday, July 18, 2002 You know that friend of the opposite sex that you always complain to about your relationships? That person could be the answer. Tuesday, July 16, 2002 I am just da bomb aren't I? I banged my knee really bad in Improv class today diving for a ball (no, a real ball, not a space object ball). The damn post got in my way during the warm up game. Now I can't comfortably bend my knee. No biggie. I got another one. Not to mislead anyone, but I was inaccurate with my communication about Max's plans in attempt to be brief. Max is leaving California. Is going back East for a little bit. Then he is going to Ecuador for six weeks to learn Spanish. Then is where I get fuzzy. He's going to come back East, apply to some schools (probably in California) and explore Europe before it's time to go to school. But, if you really want know just ask Max. Tis all from now. Other than the fact that I've decided one day to become a really great improviser. I think I told you that last night. I'm still seesawing on the whole moving out and living alone thing. For now I will go to sleep. Hopefully REM will come much easier tonight than last night. Monday, July 15, 2002 I have little to say tonight. Meat-eating fish that walk are dangerous. I can get a buy-one-get-one-free lunch at Bistro Mazzafero. Anyone wanna join me? Lucero is leaving back to Mexico in two weeks. My new Sony headphones never fall off and don't touch my hair. They are a great companion to my iPod and navy blue Marware case. I want to live alone. I think I'll move in to San Francisco when my roommate Jason goes to Scotland. My voice is naturally deeper than I thought. My niece turned one year old two weeks ago. Amy is happy (with her writer's block). Max is leaving me to move back east (and stopping in Ecuador to learn Spanish). I get to watch 3 for All two nights in a row this week for free. One day I will be a great improviser. I still have little to say. Sunday, July 14, 2002 I am left alone. Night's darkness fills my vision. The yearning emerges. It grows when I see a female. It grows when I see a couple. I grows when I hear a love song. It grows until I breathe. Then it plateaus. Until I numb it with Haagen Dazs. Saturday, July 13, 2002 MIB2 no longer sucked me in after the dog spoke for the second time. Go Sesame Street for having an HIV positive character (female at that!). The guy who shot people at the El Al counter in LA believed that Israel sent HIV positive prostitutes to Egypt. Beware of smelly crusty things that you think are tootsie rolls. Pickup line of the day: your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be. |
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Thursday, July 11, 2002 Becareful of all the power you give away to that which you find beautiful. Stop holding it in. Talk about it. Take the risk. The rewards are grand. Lilo & Stitch was adorable fun. Wednesday, July 10, 2002 I learned something major today. Sometimes I have trouble gauging what I'm feeling. I mean deep down. Not what I think I'm feeling, but in the core of my stomach. Men seem to have this issue, or at least being honest with themselves about what they are feeling. The trick I learned today is to make extended eye contact with someone. Don't turn away when it gets uncomfortable and if you really want to know, your feelings will reveal themselves to you. If they still don't, and the person you are looking at knows you well then ask them what they see. Note: vulnerability is beauty. Did I tell you I sprained the ligaments in my neck? I can turn and tilt to the left 50% of what I normally can. It's screwing with my physicality at school. Tuesday, July 9, 2002 Dear elan.org, Thank you for being here for me.Love always, Dad I hung out with Gabe from school last night. We conversed for a few hours (after watching Lilo & Stitch--which was adorable and funny). In those conversations I had a myriad of ephiphanies about what's been going on inside me. Basically, the entire pattern of living that I've established and enjoyed for the last year ended when school began. Those friends I would spend time with, the physical and social activities of bodywork, working out and volleyball are no longer. The emails, the phone calls, the parties and various social functions stalled. Of course this boy is going to feel stagnant. Though, part of the trick now is to get back on track without having to do exactly the same things as before. Monday, July 8, 2002 Your brain will dig the deepest tunnels and climb the highest mountains all in a few seconds leaving you with a residue of exhaustion and wonder at why life is so hard. "In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone's letter." - Chinese Proverb Sunday, July 7, 2002 My life's view doesn’t leave space for realities. Only perfect pictures. Perfect emotions. But art shows you everything. Being an acting student means I watch and read plays, see dozens of monologues, watch scenes and discover my inner clown all week long. Forced consumption and creation of art opens your eyes to the realm of human experience. My "normal" life doesn't bring me in contact with gay men dying of AIDS or violently alone 29-year olds or an Ecuadorian teenager watching his father die. Seeing a larger scope of life through snippets of compelling art makes me more honest with the range of my own emotions. Hell, watching all this stuff makes me feel it, too. So here I sit, riding life's immense emotional roller coaster straight into my perfect balcony window perspective of reality. A few years ago, there was a short time when I thought I was an introvert. In reality, I was just thinking about myself too much. I think I've always been an extrovert. I love people. I love flirting. I love connecting on every level possible with those familiar and especially those not. This behavior always led to a large network of friends. I would be overwhelmed with opportunities for dinner, lunch, going to parties and phone conversations. Life seems to have turned over on itself. I'm unsure about how I feel about it, but right now it's uncomfortable and lonely. My phone almost never rings (that's not entirely true, my parents still call). After school I do homework, go to gym or just chill by myself at home. On the weekends, I've been doing homework, watching DVDs on my own, reading and maybe going out once. Party invitations no longer reach me. I generally eat alone, unless I'm with classmates during lunch or my roommates are at home. Those that I felt close with months ago feel like strangers now. Loneliness seems common these days, and strangely comfortable. I know the world responds with the same energy you give out. I know all I need to do is pick up the phone and reach out to my friends. Then phone will start ringing then. I know all I need to do is go to a few social Jewish functions or public places and I will meet new people. But, when the time comes, my desire to open those doors (which, though they are new, seem old and known) isn’t there. This is a strange place to be. I'm not sure what's going on, but it doesn't feel like something I've gone through before. Combine that with not knowing at all what I will do (or where) after school is over in a month and I'm flat out confused. Scared. Perhaps even frozen. Something inside me is changing. In to what. Tuesday, July 2, 2002 "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson Monday, July 1, 2002 Today we presented our scenes to another class. I played Tommy in Dreamer Examines His Pillow by John Patrick Shanley. That guy is funny. Amazing how much work you could put in on a three minute scene. The scenes went well today. It was clear that our class had more time to work on their scenes than the other class. Today we were told what our final project is going to be. We'll be doing a shortened version of Angels in America by Tony Kushner. Sunday, June 30, 2002 I am quite the hermit these days. Wednesday, June 26, 2002 The essence of acting is not acting. In the beginning, you memorize the lines, then you work on the character. Who is he? What does he want for himself in general and what does he want from the people he interacts with? Then, how do the lines affect the way his emotions shift and ride during the scene. There is plenty of creative opportunity here. Personally, coming from the interaction design world where we try to specify everything exactly, lest an engineer get creative, I think there is too much creativity allowed in plays. If I was a playwright, I would definitely put a bunch of stuff in italics. But, either way, most scripts don't have anything so it is up to actors and the director to reverse engineer it and make it the way you want it. Then you keep rehearsing the scene with your partner, saying the lines, going through the emotions incorporating the props. Then you get input from the director. Of course, in the beginning every time you do the scene it happens a little differently, and because of that you discover opportunities to make changes and improve it. Eventually, you all come to a scene that makes sense and feels right. By that time, the lines are way learned, the movement and actions (blocking) are natural and the emotional rides you take as an actor are easy. This is the point when acting becomes not acting. The scenes I've been doing lately for class are effortless. As long as I'm there feeling what I feel and responding to my surroundings and scene partner, it's solid entertainment. Saturday, June 22, 2002 If she can't help herself and keeps staring at them, she wants 'em. |
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Thursday, June 20, 2002 Can I say this once? Acting is hard. Can I say it again? I know I will. Most of society (me included until recently) has such an innaccurate model of acting. No, it's not faking. No, it's not flaky and emotional. No, it's not dramatic and memorizing lines is the easiest part. They are teaching us how to decrypt Shakespeare, which is easy. But, boy, that man was a freaking genius, and I don't just mean in the intellectual sense. Anyway, I gotta go memorize a monologue (#2 of 6 so far). Wednesday, June 19, 2002 I went from feeling completely lonely earlier tonight to amusement. How wonderful it is that you can feel complete and utter love for someone you just met. For more than one person you just met. I love so many of the people in the ACT Summer Training Congress. My team partners are wonderful and the teachers are just amazing caring human beings. I want to give them all long big hugs (which I've already done; these actors are really touchy feely). Tuesday, June 18, 2002 I swear my body has really adjusted to the horrible sleeping schedule I have given it. When I sleep now it's so deep since my body knows I won't give it that many hours it really sucks the most it can out of the time. When I wake up in the morning at 8 everyday, it really wakes knowing that I won't give it anymore time. The sleep deprivation is over, but this has been an interesting experiment where I learned how productive I can be while not being rested as well as how moody I don't have to be just because I didn't sleep. Monday, June 17, 2002 Does anyone know any good jokes I can tell my acting class tomorrow? Raunchy is just fine. That seems to be the temperature of the group. :) Sometimes what we want most is simply sleep. Tuesday, June 11, 2002 I've been eating eclairs for a long time, but that's never happened to me before. I've been a horrible communicator lately. School has started, work hasn't ended (because we're not done drawing and documenting our design) and I have to get a technical edit in tomorrow for a few chapters of a book Christina is writing. To top it off, I haven't fully recovered from my trip back east and I've been sick. Of course all of the above is my doing, but I hope to be above water after this weekend. By the way, school is amazing. My class is filled with very talented individuals (most of which are much younger than I) and my teachers are amazing human beings. Transformed I will be! Yey! (If I can come to school fully rested.) Sunday, June 9, 2002 Dance CD compilations always have the most shallow lyrics. These stand out as particularly shallow, yet to the point (sung by Gaia?): We'll never meetSlightly related is the fact that I really like four songs on Eminem's newest CD. Call me stupid, but that boy's entertaining. Saturday, June 8, 2002 Our bodies fade as we age. Hitting these late twenties forces me to give up the little dreams I made up when I was little about how I'd be as a young adult. I give up these dreams because they included exact pictures of what I'd look like. They never included the wrinkles that appear in my aged but soft hands. But I realized something. Now matter how my body changes or my mind evolves, the feeling that dream brought to me was as fresh as it was ten years ago. That's where life is, in our emotions. When we're old and gray and our bodies and minds have slowed down our emotions will be ready to kick in to high gear like they have been for most of our lives. That's where the gold is and that's were we should be focusing our efforts of understanding. That's where we should make our patterns as we want them as early as possible. So when we can't think as quickly or have the energy to change ourselves our emotional patterns will be as we want them. Monday, June 3, 2002 Half of a customer service representative's responsibility is to tell you what you want to hear even though it may be false. This eases your suffering in the short-term (at least until you get off the phone), but makes it come back again later. Wednesday, May 29, 2002 I have arrived safely in New Jersey. Two happy parents received me with two Boston Kreme donuts. Monday, May 27, 2002 "Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box." - Italian Proverb |
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Saturday, May 25, 2002 In the past week, visitors typed the following at search engines and found their way here:
Tuesday, May 21, 2002 All right folks, Brad has put up pictures (some are embarrassing) from Saturday's birthday party. I turned 26 this past Friday. I feel exactly the same as I did two weeks ago, except I'm tired from a weekend of partying. My friend Todd from Jersey surprised me by showing up for the weekend (UCSF is recruiting his wife). Friday we watched Star Wars II, drank and ate at E&O Trading Company downtown and then watched some True Fiction Magazine. Star Wars was bad. I have to admit that the ideas were good, but the execution was poor. The lead actors were talking heads. They weren’t feeling the emotions that their words and the plot were implying. If they were, we would go along on the ride with them. Though, the dialogue didn't help either. George Lucas needs to get out of his corner office and experience some romance in the real world. Stars Wars II is the first time a computer-animated character (aka Yoda) gave more joy to the audience than the human cast. Saturday was all about the Russian Bear. Eighteen of us ate, partied and danced through the night. Pictures will be up soon. Here is a small sneak peak of Chad and Brad exploring the intricacies of this mysterious gelatinous Russian food.
Have I ever told you that my parents are intense? Apparently, they have been in talks with the owner of the Russian Bear since the day I made reservations. The name of the restaurant slipped out when I was talking to my parents a few a weeks ago. Little did I know they would have their hands in the celebration. They requested six songs, each on the behalf of a different part of the family. I was ecstatic. My dad is a musician and plays 70+ parties a year. I’ve been raised listening and dancing to his music. So Saturday night, when the restaurant band announced a song from my parents and played my dad’s band's signature song I almost cried. Those in my party almost passed out from exhaustion. Dancing in a circle really fast is tiring. Monday, May 20, 2002 For those who don't know the essence of adult play: Social Issues Research Centre Guide to Flirting (thanks Deborah). Thursday, May 16, 2002 Yey! Hi. Woopie cushion. Me! "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." Tuesday, May 14, 2002 You often hear that life would be better if you could understand a different point of view. Under all that there is an assumption that you are vested in your point of view. Not being invested in any point of view would probably be even better. Monday, May 13, 2002 Earthquake just now (5.2). Even bigger than last time. Dude, I just found out that I've been paying over $100 more than I need to a month for health insurance. Cobra is more expensive than going directly to the insurance company. BMW screwed up it's 7 series and George Lucas screwed up Star Wars: Episode II. At least, that's what the New York Times says and I instinctively agree with them. Check out what a BMW 7 series driver has to put up with:
As for George Lucas, what is the last good movie he's directed? The answer is the original Star Wars. You could tell from the preview that Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman didn't do a good job acting. But, as I've learned lately, it's generally not the actors fault. They are both capable, but I suspect the direction and attention they got wasn't good enough. Of course, the best scene of the movie will be Yoda kicking some butt with a mini-saber. Sunday, May 12, 2002 So, who put me on this mailing list: I would like to take this opportunity to announce a new web site dedicated to the alternative lifestyle of swinging. We will be bringing you personal ads, photos, party listings and much, much more. If you would be interested in signing up for a FREE charter membership to this exciting new site, please visit us at http://www.swapperz.com.Unfortunately the site looks like a cheap method to collect registration information. Perhaps there is a valid business opportunity here that someone should embark on. As you go through your twenties you develop a genuine comfort with yourself. You start to wholly accept the things you do, the things you don't do and the things you think you can't do, and you do it with a feeling of responsibility. With maturity comes the ability to accept and the ability to embark on efforts to change what you don't like about yourself. At least, that's the general pattern I've noticed. When I spend time with those younger than me, I hear comments like "I sing badly" or "I eat too much ice cream." As I continue to meet new people older than me I notice fewer self-deprecating comments. Of course there are exceptions: those who can't help but always be self-deprecating. Lacking the need to self-deprecate combined with emotionally maturity makes for deeper connections and more fun, and so I'm starting to prefer to spend time with those older than me. And I get way too excited when I meet someone younger that has already reached a mature stage of self-acceptance. In a second you appear, bringing complete absence of fear, Together we have spent, a long incredible moment. The chance for connection was ripe, but I was lost in my head with hype, Now you've decided we are no more, leaving me alone to feel completely bore. There is too much trying going on and not enough getting. I haven't figured out how to get without trying. Where is the middle way? Tuesday, May 7, 2002 "If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud Monday, May 6, 2002 I rode on the BART for the first time last week. I rode from one end of the line to the other: Daly City to Pittsburg/Baypoint (and back). I’ll be taking it everyday starting June 10. Thursday I got a call from the Director of the American Conservatory Theater who informed me that I am accepted to their Summer Training Congress. The summer program is nine-weeks Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm. They’ll cover acting, audition technique, improvisation, Shakespeare, language and style, clowning, dance movement, imaginal movement, stage combat, Alexander technique, voice, speech, and singing. It is meant to be all you need (besides experience) to become a professional stage actor. I have no idea what I will do after the class; realistically probably go back to design consulting while going on auditions. Since I haven’t shared jack about what I’ve been doing with you in the last year or so, here is an update. Last year I was laid off from Cooper. I immediately continued consulting full-time with Informatica, then with SilverPOP (both with Nikki, my design cohort). Then I took six months off to take more improv and acting classes. I’m currently taking a Physical Acting class at the ACT and an improv class with Rafe Chase. I also spent the time studying for GMATs and applying to Stanford Business School. Four weeks ago I started working on a 2-month contract with Nikki at Informatica. In addition to the moving to Daly City and socializing with new people that about brings you up to date. I also fill time working out with a personal trainer and exploring my emotions with the Grinberg Method. That's my life in a nutshell minus all the fun. :) Now I should get back to drawing some user interfaces. Sunday, May 5, 2002 I was in quite the self-depracating mood on Friday night. At least I never fail to make it clear to myself that each experience is filtered through the lense of my mood at the moment. I'm in a good mood now with a fun time improvising this morning behind me and the Alanis concert just ahead of me. |
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Friday, May 3, 2002 I've just spent the last 30 minutes reading old emails from freshman year of college. I can't believe what an immature asshole I was. Why did you guys stay friends with me? Geez. At least I can laugh at myself about it. Boy was that then and I am now. Some people's kids, errr, past. Email really makes a difference. The log of correspondence is immense. As you read the personal emails you sent to your friends eight years ago you really start to get an idea of who you were, what motivated you, what life you led and with the distance an greater understanding of how you came off to others. There is so much there. I held so much on my shoulders and lashed out for attention and love in so many interesting, yet clearly obvious, ways. My friends were so good to me. Now we don't even speak. I have no idea where these people even live now. Time brings change. Memories bring a realization of age. I used to think acting was faking well. Now I know that acting is actually feeling. That's the responsibility placed on the actor. If the actor doesn't lead the emotional ride the audience will never follow. "For a fat chick, you don't sweat too much." - Federico Romano Thursday, May 2, 2002 There are too many things to do in a day as well as a life time. Christina pointed to "You Deserve A Month Off" and the author says it quite well. Funny, I shouldn't complain considering that up until three weeks ago I had over six months off, but more on that later. Thursday, April 25, 2002 "In judging others, folks will work overtime for no pay." - Charles Edwin Carruthers Wednesday, April 24, 2002 I love seeing software improved so it gets closer and closer to a person's real goals. Although Adobe Photoshop has all the tools you need to remove something from a picture and draw in the holes it left to make it look like it was never there, it takes time and a trained hand. Surely you should be able to just select what you want to remove and have the software fill in holes. Microsoft Research is doing just that and making it a simple one step process (taking away the need for time and a trained hand). Place your mouse over the pictures on this PatchWorks page to see examples and read more about their work. I would love to see it in a consumer product. Monday, April 22, 2002 Do you or I know anybody that goes to UC Irvine? Sunday, April 21, 2002 Not crying when the feeling comes is an act of immaturity. Saturday, April 20, 2002 toothpicks seven self heaven home free nikki niel fun love went north heiko funny east boy warmth behind enya moment sleep sing fun summer school hope relief bye Friday, April 19, 2002 A perptual lesson that I keep learning is that other people don't view the world the way I do. No matter how many times I realizes this, I will realize it again. Wednesday, April 17, 2002 "If I try to be like him, who will be like me?" - Yiddish Proverb Monday, April 15, 2002 i came home from improv class on thursday all inspired so i wrote this story which began by thinking of the letter 's': once there was a spider named steven and when steven awoke every morning he would make webs of hearts and when his fellow spiders would see they would laugh at him and say he'll never catch any bugs with with such a big empty hole in the middle of his web... but steven stuck with it because that is what his exoskeleton told him to do... and he caught nats and flying ants every once in a while, but nothing major, so he started to feel lonely and his "friends" were wearing him down... but the breeze blew in one day this skinny little spider name samantha... and she was lost, didn't know where to go... and so she spun her webs to try to catch her food, but see, samantha was skinny cause her web spinning wasn't that great, everyday her exoskeleton told her to make straight lines, and she did, always at a diagonal and always with a little extra web at the ends so it sticks good... soon steven's "friends" caught site of this and starting making fun of her too, but steven knew how she felt so he crawled over to comfort her... and he was amazed at what perfectly straight lines she spun, almost like arrows.. and so steven said, "hey, i draw hearts, you draw arrows, why don't you draw an arrow through my hearts and we'll catch everything," so they did, and every morning they got up and spun what their exoskeletons told them to do and together they caught big bugs which made all their friends jealous, so they were no longer being made fun of and steven and samantha spun happily ever after'nuff said |
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Saturday, April 13, 2002 Your eyes suck me in. Mine don’t want to look at anything else. Well, except for your lips. What was it? Like three hours? Four? It probably could have gone on for four more. The connection was deep. I want it back, right now, at this moment; I want to feel that connected again. The world is my oyster and I'm looking for some fellow pearls. Friday, April 12, 2002 A few weeks ago I came back to my house to find wrapped gifts and card with the following inscription: Dear Elan,It was only a week of dishes. I wasn't shaving that week either. You know, that week when I took the GMATs and finished my Stanford BSchool application. What was BMW thinking (and how much money did Microsoft pay them)? Their new all-functions-in-one dial will be an example of bad design that designers will use for years. Wednesday, April 10, 2002 I work so hard to be here and I get so happy when I am. Tuesday, April 9, 2002 Good design always gets copied, and quickly. A copy if iPhoto has been created, appropriately called ePhoto (Apple will likely ask them to change the name). Oh, and it runs on Windows, too. Monday, April 8, 2002 Water beds aren't enough. Cows would produce more milk with air-based beds. Trust me, I know a lot about producing fluids on air-based mattresses. :) Friday, April 5, 2002 Based on my own experience and what I observed of my friends, I conclude that there is a direct connection between how well rested you are and your capacity to be compassionate. Something happens to your ability to listen to your conscience, to focus on one thing at a time and to be empathetic when you don't get enough sleep. See, I think here in the West we hold hard onto the idea that pushing forward, sticking to routine and meeting all deadlines is more important than giving yourself what you need in the moment. When we are over-tired, working on fumes, we use our brains to keep us going. "I need to finish today. I can stay up another six hours until it gets dark. I'll get sleep when I'm dead." I'm not sure if this is culturally learned or just human nature, but I think we escape to our minds when we feel pain or discomfort in our bodies (sometimes during pleasure, too). The feeling of sadness sets in. Your self-awareness catches the feeling, labels it and goes into headspace. "I don't want to feel sad. She shouldn't make me sad. I'm going to listen to happy music. No, wait, I don't have time to be sad because I'm supposed to play really great volleyball in a few minutes." So, you escape and your body stores the energy from your sadness (perhaps as tension). You hang out in your head until finally you need to physically do something else. If you didn't escape to your head, you could simply feel the feeling out, learn from what it's saying and give your body what it needs. Similarly, I suspect when you are exhausted, you spend the day in your head, unable to go to your body, because well, if you did, then you'd have to rest or nap. But, you hold the idea that keeping to your schedule is more important, so you don't, continue to feel tired and continue to escape to your head. Of course, while you're in your head, you don't have the capacity to feel what others are feeling and you lose your ability to be compassionate. Your conscience is ignored, too. You're head is too active. You're caught in a cycle of thought, disconnected from the messages your body and the world are sending. This is a pattern I've been living with. I suspect this is a pattern most people live with. Everyone's pattern is different. There is a lot one can do to leave these cycles; much more than sleeping, but getting rest helps and that's what I'm going to go do right now. I woke up at 6:15 AM this morning. I went to the beach to do Shintaido. That was my first time doing Shintaido as well as on the beach in California since I moved here. What took me so long? I now live less than five minutes (on a bike) from the water. I felt so alive there. I even did some Tai Chi after Shintaido. I need hang out there more often. Who wants to go? "As you slide down the banister of life, May the splinters never point the wrong way." - Irish Proverb Monday, April 1, 2002 A weblog by an Israeli resident regarding all the Middle East crap. As far as I can tell, his perspective rings true with mine. Yael is reponsible for the find. Working at Google must be fun. Introducing the silver bullet of their success: Pigeons. I love Alanis: "I have jumped into the unknown (that cliff metaphor) so many times and I find that each time I jump now I have more and more faith in the ol' wings appearing. So much so that I don't even doubt that they'll appear now. It's almost like I am waiting to see what form it takes with intrigue rather than biting my nails wondering whether I will even be able to fly and surely crash into the rocks below. I now realize that there will be no crashing into rocks really. Crashing into other things, yes yes... but rocks? No. crashing into other birds yes.The authenticity with which she communicates openly and honestly with the world is inspiring. We seem to be traveling in a parallel world exploring spirituality and coming to similar conclusions at similar times. I feel an anonymous one-way kinship. Her new CD is much enlightened as she grows from bitter x-girlfriend to mature and detached yet caring lover. Sunday, March 31, 2002 We (Pink Julia and I) made too much matzah brie. Today, in attempt to decrease the amount of leftovers in our fridge and eat Kosher for Passover, I discovered the pleasant taste of matzah brie in soup. Assuming you add most of your sugar and cinnamon while eating your brie, try dropping the leftovers into soup. You gotta be creative during Passover ya know. Icky feelings are icky. Saturday, March 30, 2002 God will redeem me for I am his coupon. Friday, March 29, 2002 "What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your tongue." - Jewish Proverb |
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Thursday, March 28, 2002 Watch the new iMac do the limbo on the beach. Wednesday, March 27, 2002 Why do tall people make more money? I'm glad that for all generalizations there are anomalies. I'm glad that despite my height in high school, I partook in everything sport or club I thought interesting (distracting is more like it). Don't forget to pay a visit to Hey, Gorgeous, Here's a Raise! Please note that you can make yourself more gorgeous that you "think" you are. Being in good shape and paying attention to the details pays off on many levels. Though, none of it is going to save you if you don't have genuine self-esteem. Luckily, that's in your control, too. If you read these articles and think the system is against you, you need to work on that self-esteem part. Make sure you work on the deep and superficial at the same time; you progress more that way. Monday, March 25, 2002 Halle Barry was born to a white mother and black father. Yet, she considered a black actress by the media. Why isn't she considered a white actress? Is it because the dynamics of color, like her blackness is more "visible" than her whiteness? Scotland's national newspaper covers well her challenge of being of mixed descent. Kosher pet food. One could probably make a killing on kosher vegetarian organic chewing bones for dogs. Saturday, March 23, 2002 Life is like a bunny crossing the highway. Each movement brings it closer to it's destination. Each movement is a risk. Lack of movement is just as risky. So the bunny moves, never knowing what the next hop brings. Yet, the bunny's eyes are it's secret weapon. Reflective as they are to artificial light, the reflection causes cars to swerve from confusion because the drivers just don't know where the dividing lines are. But, splat sometimes happens shortly followed by the thought, "Oh no. I killed a bunny." Thursday, March 21, 2002 I was bored (for a second) and discovered a Googlewhack: "mastication playbook." The score of that one is 1934400000 according to Kevin Mark's scoring method. This is getting serious. Apple must stop innovating now or I will be forced to spend money. Tuesday, March 19, 2002 I was just about to send out a completed version of one of my Stanford essays when the house shook. It felt normal, except then Jason and I realized we don't live by the train anymore. It was a 3.3 earthquake three miles from our house! Monday, March 18, 2002 I'm not sure how it happened. Last night I scored a 680 on a practice test. The highest I ever scored on a practice was 710 and that was the only time I got over a 700. I've been averaging 650 or so. When I was taking it today, I actually felt just the same as last time. The private tutor helped. As well as going through the Princeton Review class materials cover to cover. I learned a few tricks in their books that would have helped me in Math League in high school. They also helped get through the exam faster. The testing computer decided to give me 60 more points this time for a satisfying 730. There is no more GMAT taking in my future. Sunday, March 17, 2002 From the Manual for the GMAT Exam page 81: It is generally accepted that the color pink has a calming effect on people who are exposed to it. It is no suprise that Elizabeth is so calm; her entire apartment is painted pink.You know, I have been more calm since I moved in to this all pink carpet apartment. Saturday, March 16, 2002 What would Brian Boitano do? I should make use of the Outback Steakhouse that's three minutes from our house. Friday, March 15, 2002 There will be a Pink housewarming party tonight at our place. The bottom webcam will be on showing what's going on in the living room and dining room. Come back at 9 PM PST when the party starts. |
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Thursday, March 14, 2002 Jason found a gem. Next time someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can disagree confidently. But first, you have to watch this Flash documentory on Jack Schitt (and his family). Becareful when you say New Jersey. I'm between a rock and a boulder. GMATs are Monday. The application is due Wednesday. Tuesday, March 12, 2002 Boxes and Arrows has launched. It's a journal that talks about everything interactive design related. That's about the best description one can give it and I hope it never gets any better because that means there will be a wide variety of stuff to read. We all need input that pushes our understanding of our own disciplines. I just want a place where I can read about ideas I haven't read about elsewhere and with their first issue I can do just that. Go check it out. Oh, and they published an article I wrote about personas: Bringing your personas to life in real life. Thanks to Nikki, Chad, Brad and Douggie for providing feedback. Michelle (who's birthday is today) pointed me to a great article about the cultural and political effect Russians have had on Israel. Monday, March 11, 2002 On the way back to the Chicago airport, the following subway announcements made my brain process twice (my brain is in parentheses):
I'm still in Chicago. After 50 MPH winds on Saturday which caused a major scaffolding accident where Friday, March 8, 2002 Weird. It's 60 degrees in Chicago. I just had two fresh Boston Kreme donuts. I've checked in to the hotel and now I'm waiting for my bags to arrive from the airport. My garmet bag didn't make it on the plane with me. Let me offer a tip for you next time you fly with an e-ticket: bring a printed version with you. The subways here are similar to NYC except they go faster and sway back and forth more vigorously. There was a drunk man on my subway that banged his head into one of the poles. His face bled. Oh, and I'm quite enjoying using this new iMac at CompUSA. The screen does move around very nicely and sits just where I place it. Though, the base (upside down scoop of rice for about eight) is much heavier than I thought it would be. It's cold. It's 50 and then windy. I'm getting on plane in two hours to go to Chicago where it's 20+ degrees colder. And windier. Thursday, March 7, 2002 Creative boys and girls need to make their own videos to songs more often. Check this one out (via matt). Wednesday, March 6, 2002 You're pissed off at your computer. You bang your head against the monitor. You pick up your mouse and slam it back down. You smack the side of your monitor. You slam on the keyboard. You presentation is messed up and you have twenty minutes before your meeting. Your computer doesn't give a damn. Nice, huh? That's how software and hardware is designed today: to respond to what it wants to hear, but not what you're actually communicating. It would be nice if the computer noticed. It would be nice if it changed the presentation back to the way you wanted it. It would be nice if it knew the point it pissed you off so it could change itself or tell the designers to get their act together. Well, Carson Reynolds wants to see that happen and he's written tons of papers about computers that adapt to human frustration (link via Alan Cooper). Most design talk is of general guidelines. It is rare on the web to see a great solution to a specific problem. Take a close look at Blue Nile's Build Your Own Ring and select choose your diamond (via Ernest). It helps narrow down your diamond purchases and teaches the minimum you need to know to do it. Men (errr, boys) better check it out and get some practice. Based on the diamonds I chose, I know I need to start saving up. Julie yelled at me for only mentioning the Nutella bargain as my Sunday highlight. Okay, okay... I was on a high from the improvised scenes we did, a high that lasted well into Monday. Playing a rabid duck that attacked park goers was fun. So was playing a man with a fetish for buying any $10 to $20 items at garage sales. But, the highlight was being a boy on his first date at the movies having ejaculatory control problems. Julie played my date. That explains her yelling. Tuesday, March 5, 2002 A hand drawn clock telling the present time in Flash. We played volleyball tonight against a team composed of all Russian players. They assumed that none of their opponents could understand them so they called plays in Russian. Sometimes they would go up to block my attack and I wouldn't hit so well. But, three times I went up to hit and before I made contact with the ball they screamed (in Russian) "let him hit" (aka don't block) and every time I heard that, I swung away and got kills. They were quite confused and I was quite happy. Monday, March 4, 2002 You must go to 27th and Irving. There is a store on the corner, a few doors east of the Kosher Deli, selling Nutella for $1. A few years ago I pointed to RealDoll.com. Somehow, until today, RealHamster.com hasn't crossed my sexdar. Wednesday, February 27, 2002 Save tonight fight the break of dawn come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be withdrawn. Monday, February 25, 2002 I'm still settling into the new place. Since I went to Tahoe thinking DSL was working, I was a bit surprised to hear Jason tell me otherwise last night. The power went out in the dining room, kitchen and office. Our stereo, toaster, microwave, and three computers are all on the same circuit. Flipping the circuit back in the power box didn't help. We called our landlord and he sent an electrician over. The breaker was burned out. I drove the electrician around for an hour and to three different stores to find a replacement. I commend our landlord for responding to our problem so quickly. In other news regarding adjusting to living here... today I realized that every time our next door neighbor waters the lawn in her backyard, she creates a temporary river that runs down the side of our house, cuts through the middle of driveway and across our sidewalk before it travels down the street. It looks as though a few times a week there will be an obstacle course to get in and out of the house. I'll sign up for swimming lessons. |
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Thursday, February 21, 2002 In a day filled with bad news.... I am happy to report that DSL is working in the new house. The Westell modem that we were using in Menlo Park works in Daly City. Last night I parked on our side of the street because I knew Thursday was road cleaning day on the other side. Suprised I was to find a ticket on my car today. Daly City ticketed me for not turning my wheels towards to curb while parking. Make a note of that if you're ever going to visit. Welcome to the neighborhood. Wednesday, February 20, 2002 Does anybody know what channel Saturday Night Live is on in the Bay Area and what time it's on? Can I get it without cable? DSL in the house is still not working. Speakeasy and Covad have narrowed it down to the modem. They shipped us a bad modem. Nothing related to DSL can ever be simple. It will take four business days to receive the new modem (which may not make DSL work). Seeing as how the power and gas will be cut off to our apartment on Thursday, I'm moving out tomorrow. Since I'll be in Tahoe for the weekend, I probably won't miss out on not having DSL for that time. Though, if DSL doesn't work, it's three to five weeks for a T1 (worth the wait I tell ya). Tuesday, February 19, 2002 Elan Corp: Still a Great Company. You have no idea how weird it is for me to read that article. My name is being thrown around like it represents a big bad pharmaceutical company. "The reward of a thing well done is to have done it." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Monday, February 18, 2002 Wonderfully done: Romeo & Juliet for l33t (this link was temporarily removed, but I found an alternative site and discovered this cool place in the process) (via brig). Oh, and here's an explanation of l33t. Soft-boiled egg, yummmmmmmm. Apparently, there was an armed robbery at the 7-11 around the corner from my Menlo Park apartment yesterday. DSL is, of course, not working in our new house. We moved all big stuff this weekend, but my computer and bed (and some clothes) still remain in Menlo Park. If DSL won't work, our only real option will be to get a T1. I'm not complaining. Okay, back to my soft-boiled eggy. Sunday, February 17, 2002 I'm sick, got Nyquil in my body and now I'm eating Maruchan Instant Lunch Chicken Vegetable (sodium covered) noodles. I'm asking for it. Wednesday, February 13, 2002 Brad, Chad and Christina (see Webcam picture below) came over for a BBQ before tonight's BayCHI (where a linguist who didn't completely understand bloggers talked to much). Christina decided not to stay for the after-party and web exhibitionist (Oversharer's Anonymous) sleepover. Too bad. She missed our freshly-burnt cookies and Nutella field studies.
A behind-the-scenes report from someone working the Olympics (via Evhead). It is amazing how much better life is when we don't have moment-to-moment plans. When, instead, we react. Most of my life and most of my successes (or so I used to think, I'm not sure anymore) were because my brain would intensely go over each possible outcome before an event. If I were to give a presentation, I would think through every possible question and have an answer. This would cause some loss of sleep the night before, but I was quite prepared for the next day. In this case, moment-to-moment planning worked out because there was no interaction with others (just my slides). It doesn't always work so well. If I wanted to gain the interest of a particular young lady I didn't know, I would think up exactly what I would say, then all the possible things she would say, then all the clever things I could say in response. This strategy had the following negatives:
Approach life with a beginner's mind. Doing it that way is more fun. There is more fear, more free-flowing energy (rather than energy constricted by your thoughts) to harness, to keep you present. I've also been learning more quickly, making bigger strides in my mental, physical and emotional capacities because I've been more open to being in the present and reacting without plan. Not having a plan makes my reactions spontaneous, and different than any way in which I had reacted before, which is why the accelerated learning happens. Give it a shot. Your first few times will be difficult; in fact, you'll probably fail because you're not used to being spontaneous. But, in the long run, you're more flexible, more fun to be with, and can make more successes out of the more opportunities that you will see around you. Oh, and take some Improv classes. They help. Everyday I get closer to the point where curiousity overcomes fear of the unknown. Delta Airlines is focusing their advertising as seen in this Flash animation. Monday, February 11, 2002 Though our tendecy is to be selfish: we want those we really love to love us back. This year, on Valentine's Day, don't forget to appreciate the love you receive from those who love you even though you don't place them in your preferred "love me" list. Send a sick, sick Valentine's Day Card. Sunday, February 10, 2002 Jason discovered a hilarious video of what tech support is really like from the perspective of those who answer the phone all day long. The Internet Help Desk. Saturday, February 9, 2002 Hunger of the heart is fed well by American cheese slices buttered with Nutella. Thursday, February 7, 2002 Don't ask. Do. Don't tell. Show. Don't act. Be. |
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Wednesday, February 6, 2002 Now I'm confused. God (read: Women) help me. Birth control pills? Space-age bras? Pump-up breast implants? The Mystery of Britney Spears' Rack. Tuesday, February 5, 2002 I feel violated. The Budweidser: New York commercial brought me to tears. (all superbowl commercials) Who wants a Boston Kreme donut? Nikki picked up a dozen for me at a Dunkin' Donuts in Manhattan. I also ate two Krispy Kreme donuts last night as a taste test. I've concluded the custard-filled KK is actually worse than the creme-filled KK. And yes, both KK's are worse than the Boston Kreme. KK is making a killing in their new franchise on Daly City. Who wants to bring enlightenment to Northern California residents by opening a Dunkin' Donuts with me? Monday, February 4, 2002 "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." - Dan Stanford Sunday, February 3, 2002 I've decided I will no longer ask how old someone is when I meet them. I don't want to know. Age really affects my perception of who they are and what they want. This age perception gets in the way of really seeing who they are. Instead of dealing with the person directly, I'm dealing with my concept of what they want at this stage of their life. Taking age out of the picture opens doors to more experiences and takes down barriers to knowing someone. You know you're not so young anymore when you see a mother drive by with her college-aged daughter and you're eyes don't know where to settle because you can't decide who you're attracted to more. Pink Carpet Jason and I are moving north in pursuit of cheaper rent. We signed a lease this past Saturday for a place in Daly City. I'll be 25 minutes closer to San Francisco, which will cut down on the driving I do about four days a week. We're moving in with Charlie (and sometimes his girlfriend, Julia). It will now be 2-1, Jews to Christians in the apartment (3-1 when Julia is around). I'm hoping a few female appreciation tactics will rub off from being around Charlie. Actually, I've been aching for some change in my life. This is one. Coincided with this move is an attempt to decrease the amount of possessions I have. Hence, why I've been selling books that I've collected for years. I also trashed most papers, report cards and various items I've kept from years of education. These items are all attachments to accomplishments or failures of the past. I am such a different beast now, why carry all that weight? Zen is how I want my new bedroom to be. Minimalist, relaxing and spacious is the goal. Though the pink carpet will make things difficult. Except for the kitchen, the entire house is covered in pink carpet. It's only two years old; so it's clean. In fact, the fine print on our lease states that we can't walk on the carpet with shoes. The owners are of Asian descent. We will deal and benefit. Also, Daly City is mostly Philippine residents. Asian markets and Philippine restaurants surround us. Because the house came without a working dishwasher and without a dryer, we were able to get the monthly rent dropped $100. This worked great in our benefit because I just picked up a dishwasher for free and we can get a used dryer for less then $100. Anyway, we'll have a housewarming party at some point. The theme will be pink. Wear pink clothes or bring pink food (preferably the former). Okay, maybe it's not pink. Someone called it "salmon." Wednesday, January 30, 2002 I took the advice of an elan.org reader and stuck with half.com for selling my used goods. I already sold four books in eight hours. Tomorrow I take a trip to the post office. The residents of the apartment across from mine receive the San Francisco Chronicle Sundays on their doorstep. On the way to workout yesterday morning I noticed a paper by our door, so I politely kicked it across the way to their door. Jason came home later in the day and asked me why there was a paper by our door. I said, "I don't know, I passed it on to the neighbors door. Maybe it is meant for us?" Sure enough, the Wall Street Journal had my name on it. I thought it was a fluke, but another came again today. Now I have a subscription to a newspaper that I didn't ask for. Why would that be? Maybe Stanford has proactively subscribed me for their recommended daily reading before they received my application? Wishful thinking. The first day's paper was in a plastic bag covered in Jaguars (the car). Perhaps they know the lease on my car is up in a few months and they think I'm going to get a Jag. Wishful thinking. Perhaps I should just call the WSJ and ask. "Discover your Spiritual Self and Save 73%," only in America. "Cultivate the habit of early rising. It is unwise to keep the head long on a level with the feet." - Henry David Thoreau Yes, Jean, I am in trouble. Tuesday, January 29, 2002 Amazon is smart. They make money when you buy books or goods from them and now they are offering to make money of off me when I sell. I want to get rid of most of the dead trees on my bookshelf (which is also a dead tree) and I was planning on using Half.com. I just didn't want to sit at the computer and input dozens of ISBNs. Well, since Amazon has a record of everything I've bought, it just offers me the entire list with a sell button next to each item (though I would prefer checkboxes so I can do more than book at a time). Ingenious. Monday, January 28, 2002 My buddy Dave G. sparked a great idea that I can't believe I didn't think of sooner. If I'm going to be in Chicago, I should check out the Improv scene (apparently Chicago is the place to be). In my research, I ran across an interesting Improv show in New York City. So, those of you (Michelle, Amy, Oksana, Amir, Inna, you know who you are) back east looking for stuff to do, check it out. Then let me know how it is. Anybody I know live in Chicago? I'm going there for four days in March for Alexis' wedding. I figure if I know anybody or anybody knows me (besides Dan Scheid), then we should get together. Drop me an email if you live there. Sunday, January 27, 2002 Check out a hilarious comic about the whole Enron and Andersen debacle. I thought designs were only stolen from personal sites. Apparently, companies steal designs from other companies, too. Stolen design, stolen copy, and even stolen employees (well, pictures of them). They got it all. Kung Pow: Enter the Fist is a must-see. Friday, January 25, 2002 I am unique. And I hate and love everything that comes with it, you and me included. Thursday, January 24, 2002 I am spending more time with people older than me. In the past, I have been spending time with those my age and younger. You know what the biggest difference I noticed so far about those older versus younger? Those older write their emails with two spaces between sentences. |
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Wednesday, January 23, 2002 La vida es corta. Aprenda otro lenguaje. Wayne at Cooper Interaction Design wrote The High Risk of Low-Risk Behavior. In it, he does a great job of attacking the biggest excuses business professionals use to prevent innovation, change and calculated risk-taking. It's sad how most of business is filled with status quo copycat services and products. People go to work to be safe, rather than risk. My GMAT tutor asked me why I writing is considered so poor in the corporate world. I answered that the writing isn't so bad, it's the lack of message that causes most writing to be words wasted on political or meaningless bents. Meaningless because too many employees don't risk, don't question their thinking, don't approach problems with enough rigor and don't open their minds to new kinds of solutions. Since people aren't risking or innovating they are lacking something to say (and frankly lacking a reason to go to work everyday). Tuesday, January 22, 2002 You are not your habits. You are not your habits. You are not your habits. I am not my habits. I am not my habits. I am not my habits. My habits do not make me. My habits do not make me. My habits do not make me. I choose at each moment. Monday, January 21, 2002 I love Dave Matthews Band. Thanks go out to Amy, Joe and Ryan for providing wonderful experiences associated with their music. Friday, January 18, 2002 Where was I when the moment was perfect? I know I was driving the car. You were there. The top was up on the Mustang as our drink spilled on my shirt. You laughed. I was upset. You continued laughing. You were completely there on the 101. I see it now, the perfect moment. You knew it then. Through tears, I find it only now. Vanilla Sky took me on a ride to places I didn't want to go. It was good in a way the preview doesn't even hint at. Open your eyes. I just had the urge to chill and watch some funny commercials. Well, I thought, let's go to AdCritic and watch the top ten. So I did, and now I'm here to tell you they closed down. How sad. That's a site I actually miss. Take the Insanity Test (you need to have sound working). I failed in about six seconds. Wednesday, January 16, 2002 The Best Revenge. Articles like that help you see that companies run by strong personalities are just puppets. Microsoft is a big extension of Gates desire to take over the world. Apple is just an expression of Jobs desire to look cool daily. Tuesday, January 15, 2002 Damn Koreans. First Kalbi, now this. Check out these great mini-cartoons created in Flash: 1, 2, 3 and 4. I live in the injured househould. I threw out my back last night jumping to hard in volleyball. Jason came home with a sprained ankle tonight, also from volleyball. Please send Motrin IB and ice packets. Plus, adjusting to glasses is making me dizzy. If robbers decided to sneak in tonight and peek in to each of our bedrooms they may think strange things as we'll both be on our back with a pillow underneath our legs. My Blogger Code: B9 d++ t++ k- s u- f+ i+ o+ x+ e++ l- c-- I got another letter from Kodak.com: There has not been any activity in your account for 5.6 months. This means that your pictures will be permanently deleted within the next 13 days!These numbers are even clearer. Monday, January 14, 2002 "The thing is, it's very easy to be different, but very difficult to be better," from an interview with the Industrial Designer behind the new iMac. I must say, Gosford Park was splendid. Bloody marvelous actually, if you fancy that sort of thing. I would be obliged to see it again. Friday, January 11, 2002 Cake = great lyrics. Also, get out of your head, go talk to a beautiful woman. Thursday, January 10, 2002 Dear Fellow Independent Human Beings, How do I wash black clothes in the washing machine and get to wear it without hundreds of little non-black dusty thread things attached to it?Sincerely, Elan (I can't figure it out) Freydenson What's up with Fair Lawn and chess? There are apparently two grandmaster's living there. Boris Gulko is one of them. I don't know who the other is and now there is this 13-year old girl. The Russians are taking over. Wednesday, January 9, 2002 I'm reviewing papers for CHI2002 at the moment. There are some interesting, some boring and some just plain stupid. Researchers need to work harder at throwing away bad ideas sooner. They should take some lessons in Improv. What a waste it is to come up with an idea, then spend the next year building it, then look at early results (which are dismal) and think that in a few more years we'll be able to improve it. Years go by, grads students, interns and other PhD's work on it and it barely improves and eventually gets trashed when the original creator moves to another research facility or gets another idea that excites him. I dunno, life is too short to be so wasteful with your daily activities. Please Lick this iMac. Those who do it best don't even know what it's called. |
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Monday, January 7, 2002 Christina was inspired to write a lot on her site about rules, Strunk and White, principles and Principals. So, that ummmmmmmmm, kinda inspired me to get out of hand there also. Freaking programmers.... they won't put the effort in to make their software talk like people or commit to things they can't absolutely ensure. This is part of an email I just received from Kodak: There has not been any activity in your account for 5.1 months. This means that your pictures will be permanently deleted within the next 28 days!5.1 months? Now, is that .1 of 31 days, or .1 of a 30 day month. Sorry, now I'm talking like a programmer (or GMAT test creator). Oh, and my pictures will be permanently deleted within the next 28 days. Is that tomorrow, or 27.99 days from when I got the email? You can again link directly to an entry at elan.org. Perma-links are back. For example, a link to an old reader favorite. If Apple doesn't stop they're going to drive me to buy something! Here is the email response I received from Dunkin' Donuts customer service: hank you for your recent e-mail. Unfortunately, there are no Dunkin Donuts in California and we do not ship donuts.For those who don't know California, Sacramento is a good two hours away. The only chance of me actually going there is that it is on the way to Tahoe. Now I know where to stop for a snack on the way there and back. I'm sharing this for those East Coast transplants that are also craving Boston Creme donuts. Shit. Fuck. Damn. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg. 670. That is not strong enough to get me in to Stanford. I want it to be hard for the admissions folks NOT to admit me. Plan B (just invented today): I will finish the application this week, take the GMATs again in February (you can only take them once a month) and apply in the final round (when they accept the least amount of students). I am looking for at least a 50 point increase, if not 100, and I will engage in new strategies to get there. Appropriately, the radio woke me up with Enya's Only Time. I managed to ward of the nausea and fall back to sleep for a few more hours. I feel good, realizing that I'm about to be measured, scored and ranked. But, in the process, I'm gonna beat that thing to death... Waking up nauseous at 3:30 AM isn't a good sign. Sunday, January 6, 2002 Ummmmm, I spent over a dozen years thinking Spinal Tap was a real band. 710 on today's practice GMAT. It helped to speed up on the Math (still had to randomly guess on last three questions). We'll see what tomorrow's official exam produces. Hopefully I can pull out a few more points. 680 on yesterday's practice GMAT. Need more points. I just found this written by a reviewer of Inmates on Amazon. I think he makes a really good point. One last insight. He [Alan Cooper] offers a design for a VCR with two knobs. One to set the time to record the movie. The other to record the length of time to record. Why don't geeks build it? Because it has no "meta" function.I think this desire to create a magical world is really core to the geek's emotional structure. I haven't seen expressed so well before. Chad pointed to new book called Interaction Design. Though, like he says, it seems to be a third filled with interviews. After a quick read, I think the interviews are good for a newcomer to Interaction Design. In fact, the author discusses a lot of important concepts for those who want to practice Interaction Design (and haven't before). That said, I don't see anything too new in them. Nothing you won't get from reading About Face, any Ben Shneiderman book and Inmates. I wonder what the author is going to say in Beyond Interaction Design. Friday, January 4, 2002 Too much GMAT practice and too much application writing fry brain. Thursday, January 3, 2002 I got a 630 (out of 800) on a GMAT practice exam today. Not good enough. Somehow I did worse on the Math (did not even get to answer the last seven questions). Another practice exam tomorrow... the real test is Monday. Wednesday, January 2, 2002 I belonged to this club when I was younger. I often day dreamed of getting permanently attached to someone else, tongues with no choices but to play: Sexuality > Fetishes > Orthodontic Braces. If you care, check out this year's Alternative Press Expo (APE) at the Fort Mason Center in San Francisco on Feb. 9-10. The Guest and Exhibitors' list has been finalized. "Our faults irritate us most when we see them in others." - Pennsylvania Dutch Proverb Friday, December 28, 2001 Finally, someone created the Rejection Line for all those times when someone just won't stop asking for your number. This is for all my hot East Coast friends that get harassed. Give them a number. In fact, give them 212-479-7990. Memorize it; it will come in handy. If the call isn't long distance, I think you should call it now. Don't worry no phone spam or scary person on the other side. Try it. Remember, give 212-479-7990 to those men or women that you really don't like. Though, Amy, you should also give it to those men you like. :) If the call is long distance, you can listen to the messages online. Now, all we need is one for San Francisco. For those of you who know what Telnet is, I've got a surprise. Who needs DVDs when you can watch full-length feature films via Telnet. Invite your fellow geeks over and watch Star Wars Episode IV full-screen in high-quality ASCII. Don't forget the popcorn. Telnet to towel.blinkenlights.nl. Thursday, December 27, 2001 How did I miss that? December 17 is National Commando Day. Though, we should all be working towards everyday of the year being a Commando day. It's better for the environment, your wallet and frankly, it's just plain more efficient. Just get to the point. Wednesday, December 26, 2001 I saw Harry Potter yesterday after reneging on my commitment to see it the day it opened. It was good, but I definitely didn't enjoy it as much as I would have if I hadn't read the book. Harry Potter was the first movie and book pairing I have ever consumed. Naturally, my imagination was much better the reality the moviemakers and actors were able to create. I didn't find the child actors convincing. Besides, there was no suspense as I already knew what was going to happen. It didn't help that I saw LOTR a few days before. That said, if you haven't read the book (and Julia hadn't, one of the friends I saw the movie with) I think you will enjoy it (like she did). Reading and studying is my self-induced fate these days. My head is buried in The Princeton Review's Cracking the GMAT and Keith Johnstone's Impro for Storytellers (a great gift from my roommate). I'm glad I chose the Princeton Review book because the writer's tone and dry humor is better than Kaplan's or others I skimmed in the bookstore. For example, taken directly out of the Critical Reasoning chapter: Before we begin, take a moment to read a close approximation of the instructions at the beginning of each Critical Reasoning question:And Keith Johnstone just shares his Yoda-like wisdom.Directions: After reading the question, pick the best answer among the choices that follow.Obviously you won't need to read these instructions again. "Trying harder" can't make you spontaneous; it's like trying to slam a revolving door!When discussing an improvisers defensive techniques in attempt to come out on top: It's as if they believed that the audience came to admire their cleverness, rather than to bask in their good nature and warmth and playfulness, but that's like assuming that the best sex involves standing up in a hammock. Perhaps players who can't fail gracefully are impelled to increase the difficulty so that their failure will seem forgivable ("I'm not really impotent, dear, it's just that the hammock is so unstable").I'm glad I'm reading these two at the same time. One is dry and dull; the other is all entertainment. Yet, both are about changing your instinctual (well, learned so well that it becomes instinctual) behaviors to more appropriate ones for achieving said goal: 1) Reverse-engineering the stupidity of ETS test creators and 2) Entertaining an audience without having a script. Goals that I now realize are not so different. I had enough chips and salsa in the last three days of events (California Jews really party it up during Christmas) for the entire 2002 calendar year. Hey, I also heard that emails sent to me (or anything besides elan) @ elan.org have been bouncing. I have yelled at my ISP and they corrected the problem. Sorry for the inconvenience. Please resend... Friday, December 21, 2001 For those that live in Springfield (and there are a lot of you just by nature of there being a lot of Springfields), check out the detailed map of the Simpson's home town (link stolen from Weblogger of the Year 2002). My question is was this created ahead of time by the writers of the show or was this reverse engineered from watching too many episodes? Monday, December 17, 2001 "Money can't buy you love. It can only buy you sex." - Jonah |
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Saturday, December 15, 2001 Though I've always wanted to order my own Russian Bride, I never really considered ordering a Babushka. You no longer have to miss out, now you can experience what it's like to have a Russian grandmother. Get one of your own (or another because two is simply not enough) at the Babushka Exchange. Friday, December 14, 2001 For those who miss it...
As if it wasn't enough that when I flew out of New Jersey in December it was 70 degrees, now flowers are confused and blooming in December. Tonight was our first performance as an Improv group for an audience. I’m surprised. It was fun. It was easy and it was over in what felt like seconds. Then life continued on as normal. Thursday, December 13, 2001 Take a few tech-saavy cultured San Franciscans, get them thinking about a new social trends, make sure they're unemployed and you get the Megway TH (Transporting Human). I would pay $3,000 for one of those. Wednesday, December 12, 2001 I was deleting old emails from my Inbox today, when I came across an email from Sybil Brabner (Subject: "The Good News Gets Better"). I wrote about her on my site over a year ago. She and her husband Matt were very kind to me when I visited Singapore and let me crash at their place. She cooked me dinner, took Alina and I out for breakfast, showed me around the city, gave me keys to their apartment and expressed genuine interest in me and my life. I can actually feel her warmth right now. I wrote about her on my site last year because she was battling cancer, and I was asking my readers to send positive thoughts. Well, the reason I got an email from her in my Inbox is because the positive thoughts worked. She made it through that stage of the illness. Finding that email today made me wonder how she was doing. A search at Google brought to my attention that she passed away earlier this year. Matt wrote about their fight and her Memorial. I feel for Matt because I think they had one of those soulmate marriages. Ironic. Winamp just randomly started playing Everbody Hurts by REM. Anyway... this world will miss her energy and their fruit of their bond... Monday, December 10, 2001 "Would you rather watch a porno movie with your parents or a porno moving starring your parents?" - Unknown People keep saying the Segway will make the U.S. even more obese. Salon says so, too. Can we have a reality check please? The walking most people do isn't enough to keep them from becoming obese today. Being obese is about lack of exercise and overeating. The overeating is usually caused by an emotional concern (or a chemical imbalance). We could do a better job of encoraging lifestyle changes and help with emotional challenges then try to stop people from using a Segway. I hate Samsara! Let me out! Though, sometimes I steal a few free moments on the dance floor. Friday, December 7, 2001 Sex and clean teeth. Uncensored, unchecked (spelling, grammar or content) personal stories from a gorgeous young newlywed hygenist. Head over to Perry’s Place for entertainment unlike any other weblog you’ll find. Thursday, December 6, 2001 Go NY Times: Interface Design Is Trickier Than It Seems (nice pointer Josh). "He also gave me a lesson in the difficulty of good interface design that I'd never forget -- and a lasting respect for the people who know how to do it right." Monday, December 3, 2001 I did not think I'd see the day in my lifetime when a useful graceful personal transport would be created. Take a look at Segway Human Transporter. "Half of all car trips taken by Americans are less than five miles long and transport only the driver." It will take a few years until they are cheap enough, but WoW. All the hype was appropriate. In honor of America I'm going to trim my armpit hair into the shape of New Jersey. Saturday, December 1, 2001 Crying on planes has a great side benefit of adding moisture to dry contact-filled eyes. Friday, November 30, 2001 Speaking of emotions, now you can log, graph, and see trends in your different moods with Moodstats. I wonder if this is selling well these days. Rational Decisions Guided by Emotion via John. Well Duh! Every moment you think you're doing something intellectual (such as pursuing your PhD, conducting scientific experiments, discussing the meaning of life, solving math problems), you're acting in the guidance of an underlying emotional goal (to feel smart, loved, important, secure). I find it amazing how often we need to be reminded that we are emotional creatures making use of our brains at the whim of our hearts. |
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Tuesday, November 27, 2001 Tonight I got upset at something a friend said to me on AIM. In order to convey being upset, I hit the nice big "x" in the upper right hand corner. I wanted my friend to see "ElanF signed off" in response to the comment. I stormed away from the computer, feeling satisfied about the point I made. I just came back, about an hour later to an AIM message from the same friend saying "sorry." Now, why the hell did I get that AIM message if I exited? Because AIM just makes the window go away and minimizes itself to the system tray (it never actually signed me off). In my haste I forgot that AIM behaves differently. That's a good thing, cause the hour helped me cool off and I started feeling bad that I signed off to my friend's face. Poor design saved me from being an ass. Monday, November 26, 2001 I am extending the East Coast adventure until Saturday. Tomorrow I'm taking a trip to Lehigh for my NewNewNew sandwich and to catch up with some former friends and professors. Wednesday is dinner in NYC (as well as a trip to Ground Zero...) with Todd and how ironic that he has a Second City Improv class afterwards. Sunday, November 25, 2001 You tell me if there exists a word to describe this phenomenon. I am in the midst of a discussion with someone and it's time to offer up something about myself. I start talking and say, "I believe we are always..." Sometimes it starts "I always do..." As I finish the sentence, about halfway through, I realize what I'm about to finish saying is not true. No, I don't believe that. No, I don't do that (at least not anymore). Yet, I finish the sentence and let it be knowing quite well that next time I'm in the same position, I will not say what I just said. Personally, I love these moments because when what I'm used to saying about myself is no longer true it means that I have changed. Saturday, November 24, 2001 Meg has pointed to beautiful designs inspired by 9/11/01. Friday, November 23, 2001 When it rains it pours When it pours it floods When it floods you swim When you swim you get wet When you’re wet you get sick When you’re sick no one wants to be near you When no one wants to be near you You wait it out Until it rains Thursday, November 22, 2001 During Shabbat (Friday sundown to Saturday sundown) Jews are not supposed to work. Even something such as ripping paper towels represents work. One of my friends lives with a few "religious" women. She says they're "not religious enough to not sleep with boys, but religious enough to not clean up after them." Tuesday, November 20, 2001 I'm back East, alive and not sleepy yet. For those who haven't noticed, and I'm sure many haven't, some airlines have installed new seats. Now the headrests adjust vertically and the edges can be turned inward to support the sides of your head. Nothing on the headrest visually conveys its ability to do so. Now you know. United Airlines also showed a new safety video. The one I saw starts with people saying welcome in five languages. In this video, they didn't have a human model demonstrating how to use the seat belt and put on oxygen masks. Instead, they used a 3D computer-animated male that almost looks real, but clearly isn't. We've seen safety videos so many times we don't even care to watch anymore, right? Well, this 3D male is so close to real, but not, that he sucks you in. See, his facial expressions are exaggerated in way a human wouldn't unless overacting. His motions change speed in an unpredictable matter. I was cracking up during the entire video while thinking, "what the hell?" I left wondering whether it was done on purpose to inspire us to watch. It worked even if it wasn’t conscious. I couldn’t find the safety video online. Instead I found a video archive of plane crashes. Monday, November 19, 2001 OMG, it's going to be between 30-45 degrees in Jersey. Saturday, I attended driving school. In California, you can get a point taken off your record every 18 months if you get a ticket (like I did). I learned some interesting facts:
Life has been complete the last few weeks. I hit up Las Vegas with my dad (saw Cirque De Soleil, Blue Man Group and Second City Improv). Last weekend included speed dating, dancing and watching a close friend kick ass (literally) in a play. Two weekends ago was an Israel Shabbaton in Marin. I wrote the following phrases shortly afterwards to remember the weekend: Being fed while carpooling over a threatened bridge, "grab ass" ice breaking games, dozens of new smiling faces, roasting marshmallows at a beach bonfire, hours spent on the dark beach getting to know Erica, watching the Ruskies drink and dance in the parking lot, struggling to sleep amongst 30 bunk beds, breakfast deliberations with Arkady, finally learning the pragmatic causes of the Middle-East conflict, cathartic communal expression to understand the influence of soviet culture on my psyche, Frisbee, friends and fun on the beach as the sun sets, hours of uninhibited energizing karaoke, liberating psycho dancing, and improv in the morningTomorrow, I’m off to Jersey to hang with the old skool crowd. Live it up. Doug pointed me to ShaddupAndDance.com for videos of urban and underground dance styles. He also recommended searching for "liquid" videos using your favorite Napster-like tool. "One person working toward a dream is worth 99 people just working." - Lani S. Kraus Jews in Jersey and NYC, go to Yo La Tengo Rock Hanukkah (maybe you'll see David, who provided the link). Sunday, November 18, 2001 I have been wanting to find videos showing various dance moves (such as how to use glowsticks). I haven't found a site for those yet, but I did find a good general dance resource. Monday, November 12, 2001 I gave a presentation about Personas two weeks ago to twenty or so designers. Some of the attendees are coming here to get the presentation slides. I will make some changes to them and will share them next week. Meanwhile, Brad found something I haven't seen before: Robert Reimann's presentation on Personas from the AIGA Advance conference in '99. Set your own voting standards and see who won the last Presidential election (link via jd). By my standards Gore won, but that's who I voted for. Don't forget to explore the other tabs. |
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Saturday, November 10, 2001 Hmmmm.... maybe I should find meself a Latvian chicka. Friday, November 9, 2001 Remember Tom Cruise in Magnolia? Here is the real life superstar. That's what I'm studying next, after the GMATs. Thursday, November 8, 2001 God did not make enough direct women. We need more that will simply grab a guys head and bring her lips to his. Thursday, November 1, 2001 Castro during Halloween is awesome. I was probably the only fencer in San Francisco. Too bad, it would have been nice to duel with a stranger. Next year I want to part of a multi-person interactive experience. Like the guy dressed as a wall socket with a guy dressed as an electrical plug chasing him... I said "like." Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Tuesday, October 30, 2001 "The weaker the argument, the stronger the words." - American Proverb Monday, October 29, 2001 A meeting of two worlds...
Saturday night, after watching long-style Improv storytelling, my Fair Lawn buddies shared fries and shakes with with my Cali buddies. Happiness abounded. At least, in my body. Jean stopped by during is his cross-country drive and Ron is doing med-school rotations at Travis Air Force Base about an hour from San Francisco. Thursday, October 25, 2001 "Life is too short to not be having sex." - Unnamed female friend Wednesday, October 24, 2001 Last Sunday we played ice-breaking games in Improv class. The game was to say your name and share a story about it. I said, "My name is Elan. When I was in school I dreaded the first day of class and substitute teachers because they would always mispronounce my name. The variations never seem to end. Sometimes Alan, Eelin, more often Elaine or Ellen. Luckily that never happens anymore cause I'm not in school anymore." Of course, today in front of fifty people, I got called to jury duty as Ellen. Sunday, October 21, 2001 A list of features does not a product make. |
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Saturday, October 20, 2001 Fact of the matter is I’ve just had nothing to say. But, a lot is doing. It is Saturday night and I’m printing out business cards for Nikki and myself. (Nikki is my cohort—we commit design crimes for hire.) This Monday at Informatica World, Informatica is launching the product we spent six months designing. Our heads haven’t been in analytics since we finished the project in July (I'm sure your head has never been "in" analytics). Now it’s October. That’s actually a quick turn around time. Labor in significant design projects usually takes longer to see the light of day. Nikki keeps saying we should have found a way to directly tie the product’s success to green in our pockets. I say that would have been nice, but we got paid and the universe will reward in other ways if we really did something positive. Informatica will undoubtedly take in millions of dollars of revenue from our work. Hundreds of thousands of breathing humans will experience it. That’s cool enough for me (and Nikki). I know this product is the most revenue and people my work has ever been directly connected to. I’m just looking forward to us being two anonymous individuals in an audience of hundreds while the CEO projects our labor beyond life-size. "Men always want to be a woman's first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about things. What we like is to be a man's last romance." - Oscar Wilde (stolen from Kristina's AIM away message) Thursday, October 18, 2001 "Reputation is what you are in the light; character is what you are in the dark." - American Proverb Tuesday, October 16, 2001 Yes. A new design. I want to say something profound. I won't. Welcome back. I missed you. Monday, October 15, 2001 Did you know that Keanu Reeves is dyslexic? So is our President George W. Bush. That may be why they speak in their monotone concentrated way. Monday, March 26, 2001 No comment: Voicemails from Psycho X-girlfriends. Cool: give PowerPoint presentations from your HandSpring Visor. Wednesday, March 21, 2001 Has anyone noticed that Altavista requires you to type in a code to add a web site to their search engine? The strange thing is, you have to type in a code they just give you right on the same page. They did this to block machines from submitting pages to their index. They probably get way too many automated spamming programs that fill their search engine with crap. On the web site submission page they show images of letters and numbers. A human can easily recognize them, but a computer not so easily. The human types them in, and their web site is submitted. Machines can't recognize the images of the letters so they are blocked. Very clever. Tuesday, March 20, 2001 I work with the most genuine, gifted and beautiful people in the world. Monday, March 19, 2001 Shorts and a t-shirt and I'm still hot in March! "A diplomat must always think twice before he says nothing." -- Irish Proverb Now read it again and try to get another meaning out of it. Friday, March 16, 2001 Webreview article: The Myth of 800x600 "The use of fixed-size pages is yet another example of our tendency to focus on technology rather than user behavior. The most commonly available statistics are for screen resolution, a measurement of a certain technology. More relevant, though, is the user-specified viewable browsing area."The author recommends designing flexible browser-based layouts (something I am a fan of when implemented well). Perhaps the best thing in this article is the Techniques section where he discusses and names the different styles one can use to design for variable browser-sizes. A good read for designers who deal with such issues. My web site hosting service moved my site to another server and broke a few things. What I've already found is a messed up webcam page and a regression to non-helpful 404 error pages. Sorry for the problems, I'm working with them to fix it (more like waiting for them). I passed the California written driving test this morning. I guessed 12 times, but only got three wrong (six wrong to fail). I don't know how I managed that, but I definitely would have failed if I didn't read the DMV manual. By the way, the California DMV manual is much more entertaining to read than the Jersey one. Which questions did I screw up on the exam? Well, all the ones about rail road signs and what to do when you reach rail road tracks of course! Never mind that I live 50 feet from the tracks. Thursday, March 15, 2001 Hamster racing. Cooooooool... |
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Wednesday, March 14, 2001 John from Webword placed on his web site the email he received from Argus regarding their closing. Many have written about how sad their closing is. But, the fact of the matter is that they have helped define a new field and provided a strong momentum that I believe will continue long after the corporation. Good ideas and smart people will change the world whether or not they are in an economic organization. Though, in our society, it often helps when that is the case. And often economic interests conflict with ethical or "correct" interests, and taking people out of the focus of running a business and into developing an idea can lift a burden which leads to more progress. Tuesday, March 13, 2001 No informational link yet, but Argus and Associates is ceasing operations. Monday, March 12, 2001 Rationalizing is easier than listening to your conscience. An Asian female with a Russian male fetish? Isn't that backwards? Thursday, March 8, 2001 Wanna see SpireMedia's office? Want to watch all their employees work, talk and flush the toilet? Go there and CHECK IT! Dave Cronin found The Designers Republic. Talk about fun with Flash and rollovers. All text and no pictures. The news pretty much is not that my roommate's Hong Kong journey is postponed, but that it is not happening at all. Too bad. He was looking forward to the adventure and I was looking forward to having my own pad. To being by myself more and learning to do that better. To hosting guests galore with plenty of available mattresses to sleep on. To being loud without being considerate. To walking around naked in front of the cameras. Well, maybe not that last one. Wednesday, March 7, 2001 Today (what's left of it) is Jason's (my roomate) birthday. This morning he found out that his trip to Hong Kong is indefinitely postponed because of a "client issue." Napster has to remove the copyrighted songs from their service. They systematically do this by checking the names of the song files and not allowing illegal songs to be found or shared. Aimster found a way to encode the names of the songs automatically in Pig Latin so people can understand it, but Napster's service can't. So people can still share songs, albeit it requires some extra mental effort. The question becomes, what's stopping Napster from automatically decode the names from pig latin and blocking those songs. Well, ironically the Digital Millennium Copyright Act that outlaws Napster's sharing of songs also outlaws automatic decoding of encoded song titles. Read more about it at MSNBC. Wallstreetreporter.com just posted an audio interview with the President (Pat Fleck) of Cooper Interaction Design. The interview is focused more on the business side of the company, not design, but he does a good job of communicating the value we deliver for clients. Save on your electric bill, unplug all those standby devices like VCRs and battery chargers when they aren't VCRing or charging. Tuesday, March 6, 2001 Someone (I don't know who) responded to Chad's perspective on body temperature while sleeping. She said (I think I'm safely assuming female because in the message a boyfriend was mentioned): I know my temperature rises when I sleep, resulting in night sweats if the heat is up too high. If that's the case and my boyfriend's temperature is also up, it's too hot to cuddle. In fact on nights like that if he does come too close I feel too gross and sweaty to cuddle. So you see while his theory is sweet, your best bet for encouraging that sort of behavior, your temperature would have to drop.She has a point. That said, the ends of my feet and hands are known to get cold. When they have, the last person I spent a lot of time cuddling (Amy) would kick and scream if my cold feet touched her. This leads me to conclude that too cold and too hot are not good. Something in between is right, but this depends on the cuddlee's (if you are the cuddler) current temperature. Whatever your temperature is, it needs to fluctuate in concert with the cudlee's. Though, still unanswered is the question of why, in general, temperature rises while sleeping. Elaine (from work) found examples of useful next generation user interfaces. Monday, March 5, 2001 Chad (soon to have an URL) provided me an answer to my question about why body temperature rises while we sleep: I vaguely remember discussing the phenomenon in a great class called Sexual Strategies in Animals. I believe the theory had something to do with encouraging some close proximity "nestling" or "cuddling" behaviors in humans while asleep. In fact, I could be wrong or making this up, but I think that men's and women's temperatures are on opposing cycles through the night, compensating quite nicely for each other and encouraging the cohabitation.I like his answer. There is something sweet about it. Hey Chad, was Sexual Strategies in Animals a required class for graduation? I hate picking up a ringing phone expecting a cute girl and getting a fax machine instead. Sunday, March 4, 2001 Boobies, tits and a Cock on the Rock. Birds people. I'm talking birds! Talk all you want. Just realize that they're only words. We'll never know how you really feel. "A man is only as old as the women he feels." "Who can say if your love goes as your heart chose, only time." -- Enya Saturday, March 3, 2001 Now they call themselves "Strategic Human-Centered Designers?" Thursday, March 1, 2001 How come body temperature goes up (not down) when you sleep? |
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Wednesday, February 28, 2001 "First small ones appear around us, then the big one hits us." I don't remember who I was talking to, but that's what they said this weekend about earthquakes. There are have been a few in the surrounding vicinity recently. San Jose experienced a 4.0 last week. Seattle got hit with a 7.0 two hours ago. I wonder if my friend is right. East coasters shouldn't assume your safe, earthquakes hit New England, too. Tuesday, February 27, 2001 "Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food." -- Native American Proverb From naked newscasters to naked barbies... No Max, I won't audition to be a naked newscaster. Monday, February 26, 2001 Eleven-hour days trying to Super Please (we are trained that way) clients makes mush of Elan's brain. That said, we have some interesting news at work. We launched a new, simpler, frameless version of our corporate web site. Interactive Week also published an article today where Alan Cooper is caught saying wonderful Alanism's like "dirty water in the desert," and our process was highlighted in a separate part of the article. Also, this coming Wednesday, Robert Reinmann and Alan will be giving a BayCHI talk. I'll be at the edge of my seat as we discuss when, how and why interaction design and usability testing relate. Ahhh, the things that excite me, from voluptuous Koreans to usability. Saturday, February 24, 2001 The tired blonde pointed us to the brunette at the top of the stairs. "You twelve go with her. The rest of you line up at the door in numerical order." I didn't know the brunette's name, but she was so inviting. She had to be. Her job demands it. With Brunette at the head, the anxious twelve sat down around the t-shaped table. Brunette drops a question you know she asked thirty times today, "What secrets do you have? What would come out on the show?" Counting the strands on the carpet, the insecure blonde said, "I cheated on my boyfriend. He doesn't know. He's downstairs right now. Don't tell him." Number 553, a web developer from San Francisco adds, "I got a tattoo that I don't remembering getting. Here look." He turns his shoulder while pulling up his t-shirt sleeve. Shorthaired and undamaged from yesterday's motorcycle accident, the Latino boy takes his turn, "I may be a father soon. I slept with a girl who currently has another boyfriend. He doesn't know the kid may be mine. But, I don't know if it is either." The tall, black boy with dreads, gray headband and long yellow jacket adds, "My secret isn't as serious. There was this girl I really liked. She always carried around, basically wore, this teddy bear. Always. Well, one day we finally got to talking and she gave me the teddy bear. Now I sleep with it every night knowing that's the closest I'll ever get to her. If my boys ever found out I sleep with that thing, they'd laugh me off the street." "What was so special about her? Why did you like her so much?" "Well, she is much older. She is 24. I'm 20. It was the way she carried herself. You know older. Mature. Smooth." He smiles satisfied with the way he expressed the soft side under his hard exterior. Besides, he scored points. Brunette asked a question just for him. Peering straight at me, the voluptuous black-haired, black-dressed girl openly shares, "Since I'll probably never see any of you people again. I'll just say it. I masturbate way too much. I'm supposed to be this 4.0 student, go to church and be like the perfect Korean girl. But, I masturbate way too much, especially since I don't have a boyfriend right now." I slam my fist on the table. "I was going to say that!" Not realizing this is getting old; a Latino girl adds, "I slept with a married man, multiple times. His wife has no idea." Next in line is the confident one; "I just ended a relationship where I was step-mom for two years. I am the youngest of four in my family. I learned about sex and life from my older sisters who went through it all: abortion, crack, you name it. By the time it came around to me, my parents experienced everything. I didn't get much of the sex talk. Though, I got pregnant a few months ago. I couldn't depend on the guy I just ended with. I didn't have much choice. I had the abortion." The therapy session continued. "What was your most embarrassing moment? What is the big drama in your life?" This was in addition to the questionnaire we filled out: Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Where does the relationship stand now? How would someone who really knows you describe your best traits? The thing that scares you most is? "Please pass in the questionnaire with your picture." Therapy was over. Whether or not I get a call back, I left the MTV Real World audition with a smile on face. I gave it a shot. Though, now I regret not offering a hand to the voluptuous Korean. Friday, February 23, 2001 Rabbis and Internet Startups (jewelery of course!). You know, web servers get depressed when they can't find a page your looking for. Computers have feelings, too. Now you can see what the #1 song was in the United States or the UK the day you were born. Check out This Day in Music (via ihavenoideawho). Thursday, February 22, 2001 My roomate just dropped a bomb. He may be stationed in Hong Kong for the next nine months. He'll know for sure on Monday. That means this double will be a single. This may be a big opportunity (thinking selfishly) in disguise. Though, I'm not sure how yet. You can park your car real cheap in NYC, but only if you're rich. Virtual Paintball with your cell phone (via Berm) Net surfer quits surfing after learning that his on-line love kept corpse in freezer. A "23-year-old plans to erect a 15ft tall 'church' in his Manchester garden to house his PlayStation games." Wednesday, February 21, 2001 "If it's not one thing, it's your mother." Tuesday, February 20, 2001 Zeldman wrote a column poking fun at all the important little web design, usability (he nails Jakob) and weblogging children. (via little cam) He accurately nails many of the personalities. Jeanine at work shared an inspiring link, especially for those involved in business and design: Bruce Mau's Incomplete Manifesto for Growth. The five from his list that I think best represent Cooper Interaction Design and our Goal-Directed ® methodology are:
Monday, February 19, 2001 I couldn't let this one go: Surpriseyourwoman.com goes down on users. (a total copy from evhead) I'm working today. No one else seems to be. The roads were empty! Sunday, February 18, 2001 I'm so craving for a New New New sandwich (garlic-pepper turkey) from The Goose. I may have to drive 90 minutes each way to Lehigh during my next trip back to Jersey just to get a few. I need it! Wanna glue one piece of material to another, but don't know how? Check out ThisToThat.com (from eleganthack.com). Did we really land on the moon or were the photographs and video doctored? (via Dave G.) There's a couch in the house! A European couple living in Redwood City sold it to us for $50. They just wanted to get rid of it. It pulls out into a bed for two, or three. Guests can now be hosted without the host sleeping on the floor. To make sure we like it, we've been playing NHL 2001 all day. I think we played 11 games between the both of us so far. |
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Friday, February 16, 2001 I can't stop reading Scott McCloud's I Can't Stop Thinking column! I love his comics on the web. They rock. Column #4 talks about trail lines. A great idea for entertainment, made possible, useful and necessary only through the technology of scrolling windows. How creative of him. Thursday, February 15, 2001 How to Marry a Sugar Daddy Guy marries his TV Nathan completed his book! You can pre-order Experience Design on Amazon. No, I haven't read it, but based on everything else I've read that he's been involved with, this book should be quite a good read for designers. I mean, who wouldn't read a book from the former Chief Creative Officer of Vivid Studios. He may have learned a useful tidbit here or there after four+ years. Wednesday, February 14, 2001 Our sex was like a truck, long, loud and powerful. It wasn't always this way. Only after watching HBO's Real Sex 13. We were inspired by the elderly couple. Doing what they did with our young bodies caused me to behave like a rabid stick. Since she's been yearning for it like a PalmPilot needs to sync, she kept spilling over like a full frivolous cup. Our bodies couldn't handle it. Three hours later, our truck needed to refuel. Laying there panting, we realized we fit together like chocolate chips in dough. ... for those who need explanation, logic, and reason... that paragraph was an exercise in metaphors for my writing class. Though, it would have been better if it was true. So, who was Saint Valentino anyway? An Italian stud-muffin? "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy." -- Jim Rohn Tuesday, February 13, 2001 Work is keeping me on my toes. My professor is challenging me. My bodyworker is keeping me in the present moment. And I'm just coasting through. What do you do when there isn't enough time to learn because there is too much to teach? Or not enough time to teach because there is too much to learn? Monday, February 12, 2001 Nazir shares much on his web site. Even his thoughts right before falling asleep. Even one that involved me. I'm surprised he remembers the experience as well as he does considering his state. But, I think Diann got fries, not pizza, and I don't think it was for any of us, but just for herself. But, yeah, I love it when drunk people say "We're not going to do this again Al... EVER... this is STUPID!!!" Do me a favor, don't even look at any messages with the subjects: "Here you are ;-)," "here you have ;o)" and "here you go ;-)." Delete them instantly. Though, just by clicking on the messages you may get infected. The best solution is to unplug the network cable from your computer and then delete it. There is a new virus making its way around the Internet. All it takes is one lazy day as a designer to make millions of people unhappy. IBM being sued for helping Germans during Holocaust. Sunday, February 11, 2001 It looks like Human-Computer Interaction (design) degrees are starting to pop-up at second-tier schools. No longer are the MITs, Carnegie Mellons, and other tech schools the only ones offering one, Rutgers is considering starting one. Saturday, February 10, 2001 "'In extremis, woman is pure feeling,' Dr. Pollack said. 'Very exciting, obsessionally involved, very willing to cry one moment and be funny the next. This is not only attractive to a man because he doesn't have it, but because it's a part of himself he's not allowed to express.' The woman gives a man 'vicarious fulfillment of his inability to express himself,' he said. 'And not only that, but he can blame it on her.'" Good stuff in Men Are Crazy for Women Who Are, Too sent in by Dave Grossman, co-founder (with me) of the BFNBF club. Why must men walk around locker rooms completely naked? I promise when I'm their age that I won't do that. I missed this when it happened, but Inprise changed its name back to Borland. "Men always want to be a woman's first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about things. What we like is to be a man's last romance." --Oscar Wilde Friday, February 9, 2001 Did I tell you I saw a beautiful rainbow spanning multiple counties in California a few months ago? I've never seen one that big. But, at least I could keep driving. Thursday, February 8, 2001 I went to another one of those BayCHI meetings. It wasn't very good. I was excited because the abstract was very similar to the work I've been doing at Cooper before I started this project. Alas, there wasn't much substance and it was quite a bit repetitive. But, I'm writing about this for a reason. Last time I complained about a BayCHI meeting someone emailed me and told me they feel the same way. Tonight I went to dinner with that person (Chad) and then the BayCHI event. Chad is cool. I'm glad he emailed me after I complained. You're welcome to do the same. :) Is making cement imprints hard or is someone confused? "Need teaches a plan." -- Celtic Proverb Tuesday, February 6, 2001 My roomate is leaving tomorrow for five days. Who wants to come over and make some noise? I never cease to be amazed by how many different emotions one can feel in a minute. Anger, fear, digust, confusion, bliss, wonder, sadness, love, overwhelm, nothing and the list goes on. What does it all mean? Do our emotions make us? How interact with this tidal wave of fears? Do we ride it, dodge it, fight it, ignore it or make it evaporate? Making a mockery of business jargon: "Please don't write to me about solutions anymore... they have become a problem." -- Rob Calem (Wall St. Journal Interactive) What does it mean when the founder of my company is second on the list of the Top 25 people to watch in 2001 right after George W. Bush? It's not ravioli! It's the Starship Enterprise! Alexis shares some Jewish Dr. Seuss humor: The National Education Association is celebrating "Read Across America" by encouraging adults to read to children. Of course, Green Eggs and Ham is one of the most popular Dr. Seuss books. And there's the dilemma. How can Jewish kids celebrate with green Eggs and HAM?Uh huh. |
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Monday, February 5, 2001 I saw a cool design today. There is a team at work designing an in-car entertainment system. What's so cool about it? It doesn't have a play or stop button, and works perfectly nonetheless. Sunday, February 4, 2001 So I have to clarify my own words: "To the point where I don't want to care about my inner self anymore." What I wrote isn't true. I care. I care a lot, but I'm tired of caring. I'm tired of worrying about how it is, how it should be and the gap in between. I just want my inner self (whatever that is) to be fine as it is. To not always be focused on it. To just live life, go through my experiences without wondering how my pysche is feeling throughout all of it. Emode says I'm an "Observer." Let's start with what is definitely wrong about their description: You like television. At parties, you lounge around on couches and watch other people flirt and act stupid. But at the same time, you're happy enough to go along with the group. You don't like drawing attention to yourself — red platform shoes or flamboyant, sequined outfits are out of the question.Anyone who has ever been to a party with me knows that sure as hell isn't me. As for television, I own one, but it has no channels. It doesn't get free stations or cable. The only stations it gets are PS2, VHS and DVD. A perfect evening for you means a cozy chat with a good friend and a pint of Haagen-Dazs.This is true. But, are they insinuating that I eat the whole pint myself or that I share with my friend? They're wrong if they think I share. Like all mellow folks, you're not too into serious soul mining. You'd rather just relax than freak out about yourself.Unfortunately, no, I do freak out about myself. But, I'm getting better. Much better. To the point where I don't want to care about my inner self anymore. Gotta just live it up, and do it all, not watch myself doing it all. This guy is trying to break the world record for traveling through snow with rollerblades on. Saturday, February 3, 2001 I am sick and have been for the last week. Combine sickness and with ten hour work days and you begin to understand why you haven't heard from or seen me. I missed both my classes last week because I possessed no energy to attend them. Now I'm trying to catch up. Sounds like college all over again. Hopefully another good night's sleep will help me recover. Last night I slept 11 hours. K, 'nuff venting. After 4 months, I finally found a hair stylist I want to come back to. Of course, he's 30 miles away in San Francisco and originally from Jersey. I put a magnetic chess set out in the dining room. I want Jason and I to play a move or two a day as we come in and out of the apartment. As a boy, I felt that non-contiguous chess is one of those cool things I'd want to do when I got my own place. I officially at that point I guess. Thursday, February 1, 2001 Some important news about Blogger. Ironically, I happened to visit their offices last night. More of my thoughts on this later. The new project is keeping me busy busy. Tuesday, January 30, 2001 Work has recently gotten exciting. Yesterday, I started a new project (and I've simultaneously come down with a cold again). My mission is to design business analytic software for executives (with no time, who care mainly about the big picture) that will be delivered as a web site. The client is local, so no travel is required. This project should keep me busy until the end of April. Monday, January 29, 2001 The caring, funny, movie-watching, over-protective, gift-happy, problem-solving, fix-it-upper, home-cooking, laundry-washing, carpet-cleaning, Windex-using, soap-scrubbing, loving parents have gone back to New Jersey. I saw Mamma Mia , the awesome musical, last night. The writers created a story that weaves musical groups ABBA's with meaning. The music was full of energy. The audience was bouncing in their seats. The story was convincing and the humor was, well, funny. The writers did a great job of transitioning from dialogue to songs. I was so convinced that I wondered if ABBA wrote the songs for the story. The songs enhanced the story and the stories enhanced the songs. Suddenly, ABBA songs for which I had no meaningful association were full of emotion. Songs I had known were seen in a new light. It was fun, I tell ya. If you like ABBA and was raised listening to them (like I was), then you'll love it (U.S. schedule here). The story they used to tie the songs together was about a 20-year old that is getting married. She was raised by her single mother, and learns shortly before the wedding that she has three potential fathers. She invites all three to the wedding thinking she would know which is her father and you can imagine the mess when they see her mother. Basically, the story is about a young woman trying to find her father. For me, the whole premise was rather ironic because the word ABBA means father in Hebrew. Today, my roommate referred to red tape, as in bureaucracy and politics. It occurred to me that I don't get it. How did the term originate and what is it referring to? As for politics in a company, I recently realized what that word really means. Politics is the crap you have to do to get something done while minimizing hurt to other people's feelings. Sunday, January 28, 2001 John at work found an awesome digital music video inspired by Atari 2600 video games. If you were a 2600 player, you will enjoy it. Friday, January 26, 2001 Cooper Interaction Design is started producing a somewhat monthly newsletter. This means we'll be sharing more of our design goodness with the world. The first issue went out yesterday. In it, Alan Cooper wrote an amusing article about the belief that iterating often is the best way to produce an interactive product. I believe he makes a very good point. Thursday, January 25, 2001 This is sad. I spent a half hour today doing basic algebra. My officemate is designing an interface for an in-car system. She was given the length of the diagonal of the screen. She wanted to create an image on the computer with the real dimensions, but the computer wants width and height, not hypotenuse. Off I went on the white board with x2 + y2 = h2 and the ratio of X:Y being 3:4. I had to do it three times because once I reduced a fraction incorrectly and once I added incorrectly, 16 + 9 does not equal 23. I won't dare try to access any Calculus brain cells. I think they're all gone. That shows you how much math I do in my work. My life is qualitative, not quantitative. "People have to understand that cold, stiff, blue people can be resuscitated" from Funeral home discovers live body. "Since December 1999, 41,515 Internet employees have lost their jobs from approximately 426 companies." from Surviving the dot-com downturn. If you get layed off, just chill for a while. Hopefully, you've been saving money from your high dot-com earnings. Chill, think, read, explore. See how other designers are handling it. Then make your move from a position of confidence and reflection. Wednesday, January 24, 2001 Today is Momma Freydenson's birthday. I won't say which one, cause I'm sure she won't appreciate it, but it's a big one. In fact, it ends in a zero. Dad and I got her a nice facial, massage, manicure this morning in addition to a bunch of roses. Now we're heading to dinner in the city (San Francisco that is) and then a movie afterwards. But, she doesn't know this. Don't tell her in the next fifteen minutes either. |
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Tuesday, January 23, 2001 I survived Tahoe with the parents. I snowboarded at Sierra-at-Tahoe. I kept having problems with my toe turns, which got better after I tightened my boots. I gambled for the second time in my life. This was the first time I won. Blackjack is fun. At least I feel I have some control over the outcome, as opposed to other gambling games. Though, in the end it depends on how the deck is shuffled and how other players on the table play. We also went snowmobiling, as fast as 45 miles an hour, up one of the mountains. The view on top was rocking.
Now there's an idea. Use Britney Spears to teach semiconductor physics. Look out for an increased number of current teenagers and old men turning to physics as a career path. Sarah finds us the must-read resource on Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanies. I am, of course, speaking of those big aluminum yarmulke's that protect your head from being controlled by someone else. Or, as the site says, "An Effective, Low-Cost Solution To Combating Mind-Control." Magneto wore an advanced version in X-Men to protect himself from Professor X. Monday, January 22, 2001 Zach informed me that the film he is editing, Mullet Chronicles, is being shown at the Sundance Film Festival right now. You can view Episodes 1-3 at the web site with high-quality streaming video (that needs a fast connection). It looks as though you need to register first. "No sweet without sweat." -- Polish Proverb Dot-coms are closing down left and right. I randomly came across Send.com's letter from their CEO. I'm not worried. Life brings what it brings, and I'm lucky enough to be in a career path that is currently in high demand and low supply. That said, A List Apart's Survivor! article let's me know that there are many ways a designer can respond. Messing up the United States has now begun: The Blank Stare to restore restrictions on international family planning funds. By the way, Bush will no longer be referred to as Bush on elan.org. He will instead be called The Blank Stare (which I heard from Mr. Cam). Though, we may occasionally interrupt the Blank Stare proceedings with a Shrub. Friday, January 19, 2001 I heard from my East Coast mafia buddies that the media has been making a big deal of the California Power situation. People have even emailed to ask me how my life is going without power. I haven't noticed a thing! Nothing except for my clock flashing when I came home yesterday. Power goes out in a small few square mile radius for an hour at a time. It has happened once at home, while I wasn't there, and once at work, while I wasn't there. There is nothing really noticable going on, except people talking about it. People who hearing about it on the news. However, I did hear of an earthquake in NY this week, though I can't find anything in the news about that! Though not a suprise, it is still a dissappointment. The people in charge, doing "development" and "administrating" are getting paid more than those "creating." Every second someone successfully sells something stupid on eBay. Who Would Buy That? Thursday, January 18, 2001 The power went out earlier today. Quite uneventful. However, it came back on at home at noon. I came home and my clocks were flashing exactly 12 hours off. The parents are coming! The parents are coming! The being mine. Mine for a whole nine days. Nine days in my apartment, on my bed, while I'm on the floor. Making friends with the floor starts tonight! Wednesday, January 17, 2001 Ever wonder what it is like to be driving a car that flips over? Lives Changed in a Split Second (NY Times registration required). Onclave launched a new corporate site and a new collaborative weblog and news feed portal. Finally, the result of endless debates and visioning exercises have seen the light of day! I like it, though, I have serious emotions involved in the site. From my point of view, there is nothing else like the Onclave Collaborative Portal on the Internet. I love Allaire. I don't like Macromedia. This disturbs me: Macromedia merges with Allaire. Though, you know what, that probably means better products and a better elan.org. First reaction was fear, second and third reactions are, hmmmm.... maybe this is a good thing. Tuesday, January 16, 2001 Alina reminds us to Doodie everyday. I know someone who loves J. Crew. In fact, I'm wearing a sweater she purchased for me right now. But, I bet she doesn't know about C.R. Jew, "The internet's only clothing catalog for Hasidic Jews." Next time your visiting your distant cousin for the bris of his fifth son don't forget to buy a gift at C.R. Jew. My favorite is the Bagel Yarmulke (thanks Dave G. for the link). I am reading a book that's rocking my world a bit. This weekend it introduced me to the Five Skandhas. I don't know why it took me so long to get to them, but that is the first I've heard of them. They are rather disturbing. Not in a bad way I guess, just in the fact that my life as I understand it is completely of my own creation and it isn't mine at the same time. What is or isn't, is up to me, not whether it actually is or isn't out there. I found Dharma Talk: The Five Skandhas and it does an okay job of explaining them... not for the shallow-hearted. Monday, January 15, 2001 I can't do it. I just can't. I had to pour off the sour cream liquid today. You know when your mood makes you play Alanis' first CD, feelings aren't happy... Part of my desire to take a writing class, is to, well, improve my writing. That includes style, grammar, use of dialogue, and of course, vocabulary. (I'm also trying to learn how to use less commas in the process.) In fact, I successfully learned a new word during my first class. It wasn't from the teacher; it was from another student. Do remember that the class is filled with twenty or so females, most of which are mothers and grandmothers. What word did I learn? Lactitioner. Mind you, I was a bit too embarrassed, being the only male under 50 in that class (there is only one other male), to ask what a lactitioner is. I inferred from the context that it relates to breast feeding. So, I kept quiet and decided to let my imagination get the best of me. I decided a lactitioner is a professional breast feeder. No, not the kind that breast feeds babies all day long. That sounds rather painful, unhealthy and physically impossible. A lactitioner is a breast feeding consultant. Yeah, in California there are well-paid women who teach new mothers how to feed their babies. They make sure the baby's angle is right, the mother is paying attention to her natural intuition, the feeding schedule is correct and that mommy is eating the right things. I wonder how much about writing I'm actually going to learn in this class. At least I know my future wife will thank me for taking this class. The french like this site. Though, I'm not sure why or what exactly they're saying either. Check out the listing on the Webcam Connection and while you are there you can hit voter in my listing. :) Sunday, January 14, 2001 I wonder if professional hockey players from the NHL actually play NHL 2001 on the Playstation or computer, and I wonder what they think about the play and controlling their virtual selves and virtual teammates. Apparently, some of you didn't realize that you could click on the small version of my neighborhood from the sky to see a larger version. You should take a look, though it takes some time to load. One of the few cases where not seeing is proof of existence: Matter 'seen' disappearing into black holes for first time. The people at Russian Lounge were kind of friendly, not really. I seem to have a problem having fun by myself at a club. Going with friends is a completely different experience. I think I will stop trying to meet people alone at such places. Afterwards, I headed to a party I was invited to. Turns out the party is next weekend and I woke some poor guy up at 1:30 in the morning. Then on the way home I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up a filled perscription. They wanted to charge me $280 for the medication, which I paid $10 for in Jersey with my old insurance. My new one doesn't cover it. All I need is one more refill. It is one of those take it for seven days, then do it again in a month kind of prescriptions. This is the second and last month and now they won't refill it in California. I'll have to call a doc in Cali and convince him to prescribe the medication. Not a fun night... I think I'll start with Bungee jumping first, then I'll move on to Space Diving (if I ever get passed the former). Saturday, January 13, 2001 Of course, I was the last to know, but Amir came home from South America. He did it exactly as he should have, completely unannounced. I feel different in California, knowing he's back home in Jersey. The question is, what is he doing next? Coming out to California in February wouldn't be a bad idea. I think he should travel some more before he goes back to a U.S. lifestyle, but I'm just projecting. I'm heading alone to the Russian Lounge tonight. Hopefully it will be awesome and people will be friendly. Friday, January 12, 2001 Ummmm, Women Noiser at Sex, Men Tip Better. Ummmm, ugh, errrrrr, I could have told you that. O8-)
Thanks to a reader, we've found a better Curious George W. |
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Thursday, January 11, 2001 Oh God, soon you'll be coming to elan.org to get my genes. I'll be XML-ized. Have you expressed yourself in Gene Expression Markup Language today? Curious George W. (thanks Jason) and I just received Shrub, chronicling W.'s short political career. Don't forget to Google the new people you meet that pique your interest. You know that flying trip I took Saturday. I brought a camera up with us.
Cool, I may experience a blackout at work or home. Wednesday, January 10, 2001 I feel weird being back in school, but it is wonderful to be part of organized learning again. I graduated two and a half years ago, though it feels like a long time ago. Now I sit in class with my mouth wide open, hanging on every word. I used to listen enough just to get by. Now that grades aren't important, fear of subjective evaluation isn't a factor. Yesterday, I sat through the first day of Tibetan Buddhist Belief and Practice: The Autobiography of Shabkar. The amount of knowledge the professor has regarding religion, culture and history is mind boggling. Tonight, I attended Creative Nonfiction Writing Workshop, which I hope will help me learn to write better, here and elsewhere. Tonight's class included about 20 people. Two are male (that two includes me). It wouldn't be fair if I didn't mention that almost all of the women are mothers or grandmothers. Yet, I still sit with my mouth wide open, hanging on every word. They all have a story. Their lives are rich with emotion, rich with conflict and rich with meaning. They all came to the class yearning for ways to share themselves through writing. How inspiring. I look forward to nine more weeks of hanging on every word. Part of me wants to go to sleep, but part of me doesn't. The day doesn't feel complete. I was productive at work, got there at decent hour, went to class, had a relaxing dinner, but something is missing. Yeah, two quotes in one day, but I like this one, too: "Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends." -- H.L. Mencken "I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change." -- Jim Rohn Tuesday, January 9, 2001 Xbox is Microsoft's upcoming attempt to compete with Sony, Nintendo and Sega gaming systems. In typical Microsoft fashion, the hype over this non-existent product ia humongous. As such, everybody is comparing other shipped and unshipped gaming systems to the Xbox. Naturally, the only true hype monster that Microsoft can't compete with is sex. The gaming kind that doesn't produce shipped systems (hopefully). Check out Xbox vs. Sex (nice find Pierre). "Age should think and youth should do." -- German Proverb Make an action figure out of yourself (via brig). Or put yourself on your wedding cake instead of Ken and Barbie or have them make that voodoo doll of your x that you've always wanted. Responses to the sour cream question have been rolling in: The liquid isn't bad for you. It was in the sour cream originally. It's not like dreidel boy snuck into your fridge and added something to your sour cream. It has something to do with the density of the cream. If you mix the liquid back into the cream, your cream will be thinner. If you pour it off the top, the sour cream won't be as watery. The same thing happens with cottage cheese. I prefer to pour the liquid off. -- MichelleSome people pour it off, some people mix it in. It depends on their learned behaviors and their sour cream texture preference. I know once, maybe twice in my life, when I poured out the liquid the sour cream accidentally went into the sink with it. Ron thinks it is called whey protein product and this report makes it look like we should be mixing it in. Mullets are becoming a national interest. Or more like a national joke, but that depends on who you ask. Books have been written. Now a movie is being made. Has anyone told the Mullets? Monday, January 8, 2001 Can't make money with your dot-com? Go non-profit (NY Times registration required). That's a good last minute strategy when you've run out of money, but don't want to see your good idea go bye-bye. Yes Amy, blogger is still be slow. No, I won't give them more money. Give them time to set up the servers. Why don't you give them some money? Geez. Ya know... some people's kids. :) "The best way to find happiness is not to search for it." -- Jewish Proverb I was an influence on Perry, Alina and Amy to put up their sites and to use blogger. You know what happens when you introduce something to someone? Well, when it works great, they say thank you. But, when something goes wrong, oh boy do you know about it. When blogger goes down or slows down, I have at least three people telling me. I wouldn't know otherwise. The ironic nature of all of this is that I don't use blogger! However, since I love the whole blogger team (and Amy, Alina and Perry), I donated to their server fund. Now they were able to buy a new server, and I'm hoping that will make blogger faster for them. Now I hope the women will contact me to tell me how great the server is working. You can help to make me happier indirectly by donating to the fund, too. :) Sunday, January 7, 2001 someone is in love I went to a Jewish Singles Salsa event tonight. You'll be hearing more about Jewish Singles and me. I'm not embarrassed. It is one of the few methods to meet other Jews, male or female. Besides, if dancing is involved, I'm so there. Tonight I got a little better at Salsa and Cha-cha. When a song contains a Latin beat, my body naturally goes into Merengue mode. The problem is that when Salsa or Mambo is playing, Merengue doesn't cut it. I need a bunch more Salsa dancing until I feel as comfortable as I do with Merengue (which is just plain easy, that's why I can do it). Anyway, you know what bother's me about these events. Well, one thing, because there are many things out of whack. But, what bothered me tonight were the men. They seem to refuse to talk to other men. I spoke to a few guys, who during the entire conversation where scoping the room with their eyes. It was almost a conversation, but it lacked some serious eye contact. Yeah, they aren't there because they are trying to meet other men (at least not at the singles events I go to), but still, geez, show some common courtesy. We need bacteria. Don't people realize it when they try to kill it? I read somewhere that 90% of our body is bacteria. Besides that, they are a natural necessary part of our eco-system. David found a recent NY Times article on the current obsessions with killing all things perceived as bad for us: Kill All the Bacteria! Saturday, January 6, 2001 AltaVista is a little messed up. If someone searches for "Aimee Mann lyrics", the last link (#10) they provide is to my web site. The page description they show is misleading. It seems to be from some other site, but the link points to my site. Technically, the link points visitors to a useless location that used to cause an error, but I just changed it so it sends them to an entry I wrote that included Aimee Mann lyrics. Jason found his true calling in life. He's going to clear dead animals off the road. What else is a Pennsylvania boy to do? I'm back from flying. It was fun and tiring. I think the altitude, vibration, sun and getting dehydrated makes you tired. We flew for a total of 2.5 hours. That was in three trips (and four landings, one was a touch-and-go). The first trip was up the Peninsula from San Jose, over my apartment, past the San Francisco airport, over and around the Golden Gate Bridge (twice), then back down the coast towards Half Moon Bay. We had lunch at a cafe that was practically on the runway. Then we flew down to Monterey, but didn't stop there because it was covered in fog. We stopped at another small airport and looked at all the gliders and WWII planes. Then we flew back to San Jose. I had trouble understanding what the air traffic controllers were saying. We all had headsets on the plane because it was too loud otherwise. The headsets blocked out noise, but also enabled us to speak to each other. During one of the trips I sat upfront and flew the plane for a few seconds. That was cool, but I couldn't see where I was going. Next time I'll bring two phone books, or airport listing books, to sit on. Friday, January 5, 2001 I'm going flying tomorrow. Like in one of those little planes for like five people. One of my coworkers is a pilot and he's flying from San Jose to Half Moon Bay tomorrow. As soon as he invited me, I got scared. I got scared of falling out of the sky and dying. So, the first thing I told him was that I am fearful and the second thing I told him is that I'm going. I hope to be writing about it and sharing pictures tomorrow night. People tell you cool movies you should watch all the time. And every time I'm in the video rental store, I forget what those movies were. Today I was told about four awesome kung fu movies I need to watch. The movies are: The East is Red - The Bride with White Hair - The Killer - Hard Boiled. I'm writing it so I have the list somewhere, but to maybe contribute to your list. You have a written list, don't you? Mark just wrote to inquire what a dreidel is and what it is for. One can never make assumptions about their audience, huh? Thank you for asking Mark, because when one person asks, they usually aren't the only ones wondering. In simple terms, a dreidel is a wooden top with four sides to fall over onto. Each side has a different Hebrew letter on it and it is used as a "gambling" game during the Hanukah. I posted a picture of one January 3 in the middle of a Christmas tree decoration. You can sort of experience a dreidel and the game here. When I take out the sour cream from the fridge, after not having used it for a few days, there is always a thin white liquid film on top. Growing up I saw my parents pour the thin white liquid in to the sink and then use the rest of the sour cream. I assumed this meant the liquid wasn't good for you, so I did the same and continue to do the same. When Amy was visiting last week, she saw the same thin white liquid and instantly mixed it in with the rest of the sour cream. I was instantly appalled and disgusted. When Amy probed why I, of course, had no logical answer. So, I shut up, ate the sour cream and life was dandy. Now help me... Thursday, January 4, 2001 Jason found a gem: Singapore may take license with "SEX" car plates. I love that country. Though, you have to have a sense of humor to live there. Finally, someone created a book search engine closer to the way we think. "I realized that people didn't just like books, they liked certain plots in books, certain kinds of characters in books, certain kinds and amounts of action and dialogue in books. if I could turn this idea into a database that could be accessed by a search engine, I would be doing the fiction readers and writers of the world a great service."Steve also created AllWatchers.com with similar searching for movies. I was just sitting on the nice black leather plush couches in our office. I finished bagel with lox was relaxingly drinking my juice when a coworker walks up to me, looks at me for a second and says "You look stoned, I'm going to the bathroom." Max, why don't you make that talking fish of yours say something else? Wednesday, January 3, 2001 I went to my first Christmas tree trimming party a few weeks ago. You know, the kind where everyone comes together at someone's house to decorate their Christmas tree. (That explanation is for you sheltered Jews.) Caroline at work hosted the party and provided various raw materials (glue, glitter, paper, etc.). Well, I happened to have a dreidel in my pocket that I stole from work. I wanted to incorporate it in the tree so this is what I came up with:
Nicole just moved to New York City from San Francisco. I've been reading her site for a half a year now I think. I was reading here and there to key in on her life in the area. Now our paths have crossed and I'm reading about her settling into a new life in Manhattan. She's settling into a city I never really lived in and never wanted to. She's living in a city I never really gave a chance. I wish her best of luck adjusting. Patience is too the thing that keeps me going while I continue to adjust. I watched Family Man tonight. The movie takes place in Manhattan and Teaneck, NJ. That's the first time I experienced a movie that takes place in a location from my "past." I miss walking in a city where I recognize tall buildings and can find some place I've been within two blocks of anywhere I'm standing. I'm lost in San Francisco, though finding my way more and more during every trip there. If it was a grid, it would be a little easier. But, what will make it mine is a whole bunch of experiences and late nights that haven't happened yet. Tuesday, January 2, 2001 Boys are more sensitive than girls (via evhead). That's not a suprise to this boy. Consternation = constipation of the mind (caused by perceived obstacles?). 80% of obstacles are perceived. |
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Monday, January 1, 2001 Muffler Men? I saw these guys dancing in a park in San Francisco. I totally want to be them. I searched for easy ways to clean the wax off my menorah and found a method that worked (scroll down to Cleaning Hanukkiyot). This is what I did after I decided my menorah can handle high temperatures:
For our nose picking fans, Lina has found a list of different picking styles and their names. Last year at this time I was cleaning up Dave Tiomkin's basement and kitchen. This year I'm coming home from a shindig in San Fran. A shindig with way too much free love. I was in an environment that I'm not used to, but I managed to have loads of fun nonetheless. No diner after the party this year. Mainly cause there are no freaking diners, but also because I'm an old man now. So, I got at the end of a line to go to the bathroom at the party. I tap on the shoulder of the woman in front of me and ask, "Are you on line?" She responded with "What?" I asked again, "Are you on line for the bath room?" She said, "On line? No, I'm not." Then this woman behind me blurts out "Are you from Jersey?" I'm like, "Yeah, how the #^%@ did you know?" She said, "Only people from Jersey say on line, instead of in line." So, you tell me, when did that become a Jersey thang? Sunday, December 31, 2000 Amy has left. Year 2000 is almost over. I'm feeling a little better. 20 inches hit Fair Lawn. Or so I hear. Happy New Year to you East Coasters. This year is sad. My crowd is all over the place: Dave G. in Fair Lawn with Margie and Stef, Oksana & Dave T. & Jean elsewhere in Fair Lawn, Max is in San Mateo, California, Michelle is at some party in NY or NJ, Amir is in Brazil (excuse me, Brasil), Amy is in Springfield and I will be in San Francisco. Many changes this past year. One thing I haven't done enough of this past year that I will do more of this coming year is: sit still, for hours at a time just thinking through what I want, who I am and answering my own deep questions. I want to structure more slow time in my self-busying lifestyle. Be good. Hope you had a good time when the ball dropped. This New Year seems less exciting than last, but it is still a time for celebration and reflection. I love you, miss you and wish you the best. Happy New Year! Thursday, December 28, 2000 Tahoe isn't happening. At least not tonight. I'm pretty exhausted and sick. Nose is stuffed, body is feeling as though I ran a marathon, even though I didn't. Perhaps I wouldn't feel this way if I would have been training for one. Nevertheless, Amy is cool. Wednesday, December 27, 2000 So, I jumped to a few conclusions with my seven-killed in econsultancy entry. More news on that front. Still, everything I said is true, it just has nothing to do with the shooting. :) Busy, busy, sick, sick. I've seen Crouching Tiger twice in the three days. The movie is wonderful, to say the least. Amy and I have visited Monterey, Carmel, Mill Valley, Sausilito, San Fran, San Mateo, Haight-Ashbury, and some other places I'm sure. We're heading to Tahoe later in the week. But alas, I am sick. My nose runs, then stalls, then runs, then stalls every few minutes. I sound like a frog and tomorrow I have to lead a 2 hour conference call with a client. Now I need some rest, otherwise work and Tahoe won't be as fun as they could be. Dot-coms losing money and going out of business isn't humorous. The cost of not getting it in the tech business isn't small. Mistakes aren't always harmless. Gunman Kills 7 at Net consulting company. Friday, December 22, 2000 It's time to go light the Hanukah candles. I didn't last night because I went to this. By the way, I sold my PS2. Though, I did this outside the EBay auction. I should be meeting the buyer tonight or Sunday morning. I will be making a nice $115 bux over what I payed for it. But I would have made triple that if I would have sold the one I camped out for. Was that opportunity cost worth the benefit I got from playing it and talking about it since I got it? Instinct says no, but it is close. Work is over, at least for this week. We have off next Monday and Tuesday and I am talking Friday off. This coming week should be loads of fun. My officemate is showing me some secrets of the Bay area tomorrow. Amy is coming on Sunday and staying for a week. We'll probably head to Tahoe, then she'll have to kill some time while I'm at work. Then we'll party some more and she heads back to NJ in time for a New Year's Eve party. I'll be in SF for New Year's Eve. Oh, and Jason has a sweet friend from Lehigh visiting from the 27th to the 1st or 2nd. So, she'll be hanging out in our place, too. All social, all fun (or so I hope). :) Wednesday, December 20, 2000 I've noticed many many women here drive big pickup trucks. Trucks you would expect big burly men to drive. I've also noticed quite a few gay men with feminine qualities. I think this misbalance of men with over developed feminine sides and women with over developed masculine sides it what makes living in the bay area so peaceful. We've got all sorts of balanced energy. Half of you are covered in snow and I'm totally oblivious. Don't forget to go sledding out there in the East for me. Tuesday, December 19, 2000 Michelle found something much more accurate than the 20 questions link. Check out Guess the Dictator or Television Sit-com Character. I learned from Sarah that men actually experience PMS. Except, our PMS is more constant, on a hidden level waiting to be triggered. Women of a particular type are prone to cause PMS reactions in men. I am, of course, speaking of Post Mother Syndrome. Last week I got a new Playstation 2 in the mail that I pre-ordered months ago. I'm selling it on EBay. If anybody wants it, go bid. :) Monday, December 18, 2000 Video.... is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Now all you have to do is actually catch one of us on the camera. Tonight I went to a local meeting of designers to discuss the design of a recent exhibit at the San Jose Tech Museum. I go to meet new people. I go to learn and to share ideas. It hit me tonight (again), that I don't learn much new stuff in these forums. I'm not sure why. I suspect we can't get into any good details because the group lacks a shared understanding and a shared problem. At work, we create archetypes of users based on interviews of real people. We also create scenarios with these user archetypes of how they interact with a particular product. Well, these two tools act as a single point of shared knowledge between the designers. They also enable people new to the problem to get up to speed quickly by reading a description of the user archetype and the scenario. I believe it is this lack of common tools, process and specific problems that prevents groups of designers from getting deep into a topic (besides the lack of an agenda). Designers keep getting together as groups and talking about trends and models. We keeping talking one-level off the problem because we choose talk about the abstract so others can understand outside the context of the projects we each work on in our companies. This is necessary, but it is also damaging, because you lose important nuances in going from detailed to abstract. I also feel this constant desire for revelation actually decreases my chances of revelations at these meetings. I really want to learn something new. I don't know why, but I just have this desire to learn something new and everyday. I'm addicted. Okay, okay. You're right. I'm wrong. What women want is Mel Gibson. "You can fix it now on the drafting board with an eraser or you can fix it later on the construction site with a sledge hammer." - Frank Lloyd Wright Sunday, December 17, 2000 By the way, Marisa Tomei was a hottie in the movie. What (do) Women Want? That's a good question. Men already have the power that Mel Gibson has in the movie. They just choose not to use it, don't know how to use it or don't take the time to use it. Listening isn't hard. It isn't hard once you've stopped thinking about yourself. There are a lot, and I mean millions, (like almost every single woman) of them dieing to find a who guy would just listen. Listen and connect. Listen, connect and smile. Men, you could do this, I tell you. It's not hard. Just stop thinking about yourself. Stop the billions of thoughts in your head going a mile a minute. Oh, and stop staring at her chest, her curves or lack thereof. Let it go. Don't be such an animal. Those curves will be there later, just focus on the words, the eyes, the feelings and the intent. Then be free. Be free to feel, don't be scared. Be free to be changed. Don't hold on, let it go. And don't forget to smile. This isn't brain surgery. Saturday, December 16, 2000 No, I don't have a bean bag chair. I thought those things cause cancer or something. |
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Friday, December 15, 2000 Overheard today (from a female): "My goal for next year is to have a smaller chest size." Chicken head found in wing box (via brig). Jason finds the good stuff, Electrocuted man rises from the dead and a coworker passed this around: HP employee missing from flight. Wednesday, December 13, 2000 Je suis agréablement surpris que mon site soit régulièrement visité par des Français. Bienvenue à tous et à toutes! The butterflies in the U.S. that I have seen are boring. Check out these colors. La vita sta andando bene! Ciao La Calabria, Italia! "You can't think your way into acting positively, but you can act your way into thinking positively." -- Nido Qubein Monday, December 11, 2000 This weekend was a blast. Tami (x-recruiter and friend from New York) and her sister came for the weekend. Friday night was Korean BBQ and some deserts at the wannabee diner chain in California. Saturday was hiking, some major group cooking attempts (Chicken Soup again, mash potatos, onions and mushrooms) and the watching of From Dusk Till Dawn. Sunday included many hours outside in Golden Gate Park (including the Japanese Tea Garden, watching some youngin's do the Lindy Hop and learning Tai Chi basics) with an end of day visit to Haight & Ashbury. Lots of socializing and lots of activities. No personal time, but who needs it. Now this week is going to be hectic, but I'm looking forward to the weekend. I currently have plans to do some serious apartment cleaning and relaxing. Friday, December 8, 2000 Ummm, Furby Autopsy anyone? Thursday, December 7, 2000 Play the 20 questions game. It actually works (though usually not in 20 questions), 29 questions seems more accurate around the office. Robert Yuan decided to share an interesting article he found at Yahoo: Hazelnuts Could Be Fuel of the Future. Little did he know that Hazelnuts fuel my body. In fact, hazelnuts are my favorite kind of nuts in candies. Perugina Baci is the best (and probably most expensive) way to go when it comes to hazelnuts and chocolate. Wednesday, December 6, 2000 We all have our own unique ways of communicating crushes. Let me share some good ones from readers: My friend Lydia would always refer to the 'ultimate' guy as "The Package" and we'd always say we'd sign for the delivery.Good stuff I tell ya. And there goes DSL working again, until... Of course, as soon as I say DSL starts working and the cameras are up, they stop working again. When computers and networking are involved, you're talking about two very flaky things coming together to make something even more flaky. I couldn't fall asleep last night. I had to keep getting up to draw and write. I was doing this for three hours starting around midnight. I've been thinking a lot about the relationship between interaction designers and usability professionals. There is an underlying tension and I've been trying to figure what it is and to find a way to communicate it. I had an epiphany at the airport on the way home on Thanksgiving and then last night I proceeded to have a few more. I'm so excited because I think I got to the source of the problem in a way in which others can understand and benefit. I'm giving a talk at work next week about it. This is a big deal (well it feels like one right now and definitely did last night). Tuesday, December 5, 2000 I think this is a cool experience (especially if it wasn't directed by me):
Monday, December 4, 2000 I'm afraid to say it (because something always goes wrong when I do), but it looks like the webcams are working. Not only are they working, but they may actually continue to work! The DSL is slow, so I'm not sure I'll be able to offer video services, but I'm working on it. Sunday, December 3, 2000 Now, I can't believe this UPS truck is terribly efficient. Maybe the UPS workers in South America are shorter than here. Friday, December 1, 2000
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